Q: My husband and I have emergency custody of his daughter. Mom wants to take her out to dinner. Should we allow this?
My step-daughter's biological mother was in a bad relationship, got arrested, has done drugs, wrecked her car, threatened to harm herself, and we have had emergency custody since mid-January. Mom is out of jail, and has moved out of the home she shared with her husband. Should we allow her to see her daughter? She has requested to take her to dinner. Apparently, this is up to us and we don't know what to do.
The court order says no spending the night with mom. Mom is not allowed to go to my step daughters school. They speak once or twice a week on the phone. My step-daughter is six. We want to go for full permanent custody and have a date set for March. Would allowing her to see her daughter, mess up what we want to go for in March?
A:
It is difficult if not impossible to accurately answer this question without a full consultation. That said, I wonder what you are thinking "full" custody actually is, and how realistic it is that you will get it. Mom may not have a strong custody claim, but it seems like she wants to be involved in her child's life and seems to be taking steps to better herself.
Judges often want to find solutions that allow both parents to play their respective roles in their child's lives, so you will have to consider what mom's role should be. Not allowing mom to have reasonable contact with her child could backfire if the court determines that your husband is not capable of co-parenting. Of course you can take the necessary safeguards to ensure safety, but not allowing reasonable contact could harm your case.
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