North Bergen, NJ asked in Adoption, Child Custody, Child Support and Family Law for New Jersey

Q: Mother has sole legal and residential custody. Child is autistic. Father does not take to any appointments, doesn’t

Help when he’s on school break, won’t communicate because “the new girlfriend doesn’t like it”, won’t check on the child’s well being, and the child comes home very hungry and once with a deep scratch on the pelvic area. the mothers boyfriend/father to mothers other child takes off and does what a father should do physically and financially. Bio dad gives 90 a week, no child support order. Moms boyfriend wants to adopt child. How hard would it be I’m this circumstance?

1 Lawyer Answer
Richard Diamond
Richard Diamond
  • Divorce Lawyer
  • Short Hills, NJ
  • Licensed in New Jersey

A: This is a trick question. Your ex pays 90.00 per week in child support voluntarily but has little to no involvement in your child's life. Your current boyfriend is caring and involved in your child's life and wants to continue to be involved. Your ex is not stopping your boyfriend from being actively involved in your child's life - the issue is that you are angry that your ex doesn't do the right things for your child because of his new girlfriend, etc and he will never change.

90.00 per week is 4,680.00 per year paid to you to help with your child's needs. My suggestion is that you and your boyfriend decide whether you are willing to walk away from that sum of money with you and your boyfriend doing exactly what you are currently doing (and recognizing that your ex will never have a greater involvement). If your boyfriend can afford to cover all of the expenses for your child (with you no longer receiving the 90 per week from the ex), then approach your ex with a suggestion that he permit your boyfriend to adopt him, and once its approved, his connection to the child will end as well as his obligation for the payment of the 90 per week. My sense is that your ex would be happy to jump at the opportunity to walk away and save the 90.00 per week payment. Make sure that your current boyfriend is on board as well before you approach the ex.

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