Q: Is it illegal to write someone's will the way their wife wants it wrote?

A: Ultimately, it is up to the testator (the person who is signing the will) to give clear instructions to the attorney preparing the will as to what the testator's wishes are. The testator may, but is not required to, consult with his wife and may or may not honor whatever she thinks he should do.

Often, the testator's wishes are very similar to the way an estate would be distributed under intestacy laws (i.e. the way state law provides in the absence of a will). Those laws developed over years based on societal experience with what is logical, common sense, and desirable in a customary and usual situation. But the testator can, and sometimes does, vary from those laws. The attorney preparing the will is beholden to the testator's wishes.

A: My colleague Attorney Frick is correct. The quick answer to your questions are

Is it illegal to write someone's will the way their wife wants it wrote? No IF they are in agreement AND the wife is not exercising undue influence (threatening the testator with violence, abuse, etc,)

Is it illegal to write someone's will the way the state would distribute things instead of writing it the way the deceased wanted it wrote? Again NO, but see above.

Does a wife have any say in how her husband's will is wrote? Spouses can confer with each other but ultimately each needs to reflect the wishes of the person who is signing it.