What should my first steps be in this situation? Note: other parent refuses to communicate

Question

My ex-husband and father of my 14 year old and I share joint managing conservatorship of our daughter with me being the primary parent. She lives with me and he has visitation whenever we agree or per our standard possession order. In the last year there have been a couple incidents that have caused me to become alarmed about what he allows to happen at his house. First, a few months ago, I found pictures in my daughters phone of her and her stepsisters smoking cigarettes while she was at his house. Even more alarming to me was finding out a couple days ago that she has been smoking marijuana while she is over there. According to her, she was smoking it with her stepsister at her dads house and in her stepsisters car. She also said that her stepsister told her that her dad smokes it too and told her where he hides it. I feel like there should be something I can do about this because my 14 year old should not and does not need to be smoking marijuana or cigarettes.

Elisa Reiter · Answer

Frankly, some judges remain sticklers about not condoning marijuana use.  Others don't care. Here is a link to pertinent law on prosecution for possession. https://texas.public.law/statutes/tex._health_and_safety_code_section_481.121 
You can try to file a motion to modify, with a supporting affidavit about Dad condoning Daughter's drug use.  You can call CPS.  The key here will be testing, and whether you can get to the courthouse fast enough for orders to be entered for testing that do indeed show a high concentration of marijuana in your daughter's system and in her father's system.  Not the be all and end all of a modification action, but certainly a start.  Good luck to you.

Sharita Blacknall · Answer

Retain an Attorney: Given the seriousness of the situation, it would be wise to retain a family law attorney who can advise you on the specifics of your case. They can guide you on the potential legal avenues available to you. 
 
Document Everything: Begin keeping a detailed record of events, conversations, and evidence. For instance, back up the pictures you found on your daughter's phone, as well as any text messages or other communication that might be relevant. 
 
Request a Modification of Conservatorship or Possession: If you genuinely believe your child's well-being is at risk, you may be able to request a modification to the current conservatorship or possession order. Texas law allows for modifications if there is a material and substantial change in circumstances and if the modification is in the best interests of the child. 
 
Request Drug Testing: If drug use is a concern, your attorney might advise you to request a court order for drug testing of the other parent. Positive test results could influence custody or visitation arrangements. 
 
Stay Calm and Act in the Best Interests of the Child: Remember to always prioritize the well-being of your child in any actions you take. Avoid badmouthing the other parent in front of your child, and ensure your child feels safe and supported. 
 
Consider Counseling for Your Daughter: Given the exposure to substances, it might be helpful for your daughter to speak with a counselor or therapist. They can provide guidance and support as she navigates these challenges. 
 
Retaining a family law attorney is crucial, as they can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation.

Q: What should my first steps be in this situation? Note: other parent refuses to communicate