Q: Can my ex-husband, modify child support, if he's been paying me directly, not through probate Court?

A: You should realize by now unless the Court Order's your ex-husband to pay what he is supposed to, he is going to do whatever he wants. You need to retain an experienced matrimonial attorney who will charge you for about 1/2 to 1 hour of attorney time to review all the relevant documents and obtain the facts required to file the motion. Pick the best attorney you can find and remember one rule: a good attorney is generally never cheap, and a cheap attorney is generally never good so don't choose based on price. With modern technology, you can be represented by any high-quality attorney in New Jersey irrespective of geography.

A: Generally speaking, a party seeking to modify child support based on changed circumstances (like one child graduating from college) should file a petition in Court requesting to change or terminate support. While it may be that your child would be considered emancipated, the proper course is to file a motion. This ensures that child support is appropriately calculated for any younger, unemancipated children. I would recommend scheduling a consultation with a family law attorney who can review your Court Order or settlement agreement and advise as to any unpaid child support you may be owed. I hope this helps and wish you the best as you navigate this situation.

Disclaimer - the foregoing answer is for general information purposes and does not constitute legal advice or the formation of an attorney client relationship.

A: If your son graduated from college, isnt it safe to say that he is emancipated under the law? I presume your settlement agreement imposed a support obligation on your former husband until your son graduated from college. Typically, a payor would reach out to the other spouse in advance of the graduation date to confirm their agreement to terminate it at the time of graduation. In your matter, he did not reach out to you but presumably, he waited until the graduation to terminate it. Had you and he spoke and you refused to agree to the termination, he would have been forced to file an application with the court and the judge most likely would have found that his obligation ended upon your sons graduation and any payments made after that date to be reimbursed to him and the court could have also have considered sanctions for a bad faith opposition to the application.

As to the cost of living, if it had been paid through the probation department, then you would have been entitled to a biannual review with each of you providing your then current financial information to determine whether an adjustment was appropriate.