Q: Hello -My divorce was finalized in 2019. Our daughter is going to be 12 this year and it is a joint custody agreement.
As part of the divorce, my ex-wife declared that our daughter couldn't stay overnight with me when there is an adult female there.
The divorce was long and drawn out over many years and I reluctantly agreed. This is now part of our divorce agreement.
I have been dating the same woman for 13 years who is very much a part of my daughters life now. I plan to propose to her sometime in the next couple of months. Overnights are still an issue as my girlfriend and I can't take my daughter on vacation or simply have a normal life at home. My question is - do I have to take my ex-wife back to court for this? or does a proposal or marriage nullify this agreement? Are there other options?
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A: The challenge you face is that you agreed to what the agreement says and it is still enforceable against you. But the opportunity here is: what exactly does it say? Look at the wording. And, if the wording is really as disadvantageous as you say it is, then next: the agreement can always be modified by you and your ex. Could you and your ex agree to change that provision, for the benefit of your minor child? If you phrase it about what is best for your daughter then your ex is more likely to agree, than if you phrase it about what is best for you and your girlfriend / fiancé. Most important, at 13 your daughter has a voice of her own and I am sure that she makes it known what she wants: what does she want? The parents ought to listen to that. As for going back to court: the judge could potentially change it because matters involving custody of children are modifiable. Lots of time, money and stress to do that, so, see above for easier ways.
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