Q: Why would a lawyer say it’s not ideal to get engaged for a custodial battle
Boyfriend will not propose because his lawyer told him it will negatively affect him in a child custody trial, is that correct? However, his lawyer has not stayed in consistent contact with him (it’s been a month and a half since they last spoke) nor has done anything to move the case forward for child custody and child support, his lawyer also stated it can take up to two years to get a court date or a custody order is this normal for Oklahoma custody trials?
A:
Generally speaking, showing a stable, consistent home environment is desirable in almost all custody cases. An engagement and impending marriage introduces change. The nature and degree of that change can be a negative factor in a custody case. Everything depends on the particular facts and circumstances of your boyfriend's specific case.
If you have been in a relationship for five years, his children have been introduced to you, and they have become comfortable being around you, an engagement may not be that negative. If he just recently met you within the last year or so, or did not introduce his children to you until this year, they would almost certainly not be comfortable yet and an engagement may be a pretty negative factor.
Assuming your boyfriend's lawyer is experienced and competent, he/she most likely is familiar with the judge and can best advise him what factors are likely to help, or to hinder, his custody case.
Two years for a contested custody case is not unreasonable and may actually be a bit optimistic. He likely will get his first trial setting within two years, but may not actually be reached for trial within two years. That depends a lot on the size of the docket in the particular judge's court, which his lawyer is likely familiar with.
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