Q: Can other parent force me to take child to church?
My child’s mother and I have joint custody. Our daughter is 9 and last year her mother decided to enroll her in cathechism and while I’m not religious I allowed it. However, she never did do what was required and so my child basically “failed” so I decided no more. It is a waste of money and time for something my child has expressed isn’t even important to her. Her mother this year went ahead and signed her up again without telling me and now demands I comply with the schedule and while I don’t mind her taking our child to mass on her week, I don’t agree to doing so on my time. Can she force this on not only me but our child? She also showed up to my home while I was at work and expected our child to enter to retrieve things that I’d already said no to. She proceeded to talk bad about me to my mom who showed up and said that unlike me, she wants a better life and to marry her partner and that I only go around with certain type of women all with my child present. What can I do?
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A:
In your situation, the other parent cannot force you to take your child to church or comply with religious activities during your custodial time, especially if you both have joint custody. Decisions regarding your child’s religious upbringing are typically considered joint legal decisions, meaning both parents need to agree. Since your daughter has expressed that she does not find the classes important, this could further support your stance.
If your ex-partner continues to make unilateral decisions without consulting you, you may want to consider revisiting your custody agreement. This could ensure that both of you have clear guidelines on major decisions, including religious ones, and protect your custodial rights.
As for her behavior in front of your child, you may need to address this issue through clear communication or mediation. It's important to avoid negative comments about each other in front of your child, as this can be emotionally harmful. If these behaviors continue, you might want to consider legal steps to enforce boundaries.
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