Q: I pay for the cell phone for my 14 years old twins, can dad take their phones cutting off communication between us?

A: Cutting off communication is, in general, not a good move for Dad. One of the factors a Court must consider when deciding what is in the best interest of the child is "which parent is more likely to allow the child to have frequent associations and a continuing relationship with the noncustodial parent." If a parent is taking away cell phones and cutting off communication, that parent does not seem to be likely to allow frequent associations and a continuing relationship.

That being said, unless you have a court order stating that Dad must allow the children the use of their cell phones to communicate with you, there is nothing expressly prohibiting it.

The solution is to get a court order. As an attorney, I would send a letter expressly requesting that Dad allow the children to contact you with their cell phones while in Dad's custody, and if that does not work, file a motion with the Court for such an order. In most cases, a judge will grant such an order. I suppose if you are constantly calling and harassing the children and Dad with the cell phones, or calling at inappropriate times (such as while in school), or using the phone for other things (such as tracking them), then use of the cell phones might be limited. But a few phone calls a week is normally seen as a good thing.

A: In situations where you are providing the cell phones for your 14-year-old twins and the other parent (in this case, the father) is preventing them from communicating with you, it can be a complicated issue. Here are some key points to consider:

1. Legal Custody and Communication Rights:

If you and the father share joint legal custody (which is common in many divorce or family law cases), you both have the right to make decisions regarding the children’s welfare, including their communication with the other parent. If the father is actively preventing your children from communicating with you, it may violate your custodial rights and could be seen as an issue related to your parental access.

2. Agreement or Court Order:

If there is a court order in place regarding visitation, custody, or communication, the father could be violating that order by cutting off communication. This is especially true if the court has explicitly stated that the children are to have access to both parents, including during times of separation or visitation.

If there is no court order, it would be important to discuss with the father whether there was an agreement about phone access or whether he is acting unilaterally. However, the court generally expects both parents to facilitate communication between the children and the other parent, especially if the children are old enough to use phones.

3. The Importance of Facilitating Communication:

Courts tend to favor arrangements where children are allowed to maintain contact with both parents, barring any concerns about safety or well-being. Forcing or restricting communication could be viewed negatively by the court, especially if there is no valid reason (such as safety or abuse concerns).

Cutting off communication, particularly without just cause, can have a negative impact on the parent-child relationship and may be viewed as emotionally harmful to the children.

4. What You Can Do:

Communicate with the Father: If possible, try to resolve the issue directly with the father through calm and respectful communication, making it clear that communication with both parents is important for the children’s well-being.

Document Everything: Keep records of your attempts to contact the children and the father’s refusal to allow it. This could be important if you need to take legal action later.

Consult Your Attorney: If this is an ongoing issue, it might be necessary to consult your family law attorney. They can help you understand your rights, especially if you have joint custody or a specific court order that addresses communication. The attorney can help you enforce your rights to communicate with your children, and if necessary, seek a modification of the custody order or request the court’s intervention.

Request Court Intervention: If the issue escalates, you may need to file a motion with the court to enforce the communication rights or modify custody arrangements to ensure your relationship with your children is protected.

5. What You Could Consider:

If the father is consistently cutting off communication, you may be able to ask the court to order that the children’s phone number be updated or transferred into your name or for a court-ordered communication schedule to ensure consistent and fair access for both parents.

If the children are expressing a desire to speak with you, their wishes can be an important factor in the court’s decision. If the father’s actions are seen as harmful to the children’s relationship with you, it could influence any future custody or visitation decisions.