Q: Set a parenting plan with separated spouse, but spouse is not following the plan. What are my options?

A: First, document what's going on with a timeline of each violationg of the parenting plan. Start with those you remember, and then keep an accurate log going forward.

Next, write a certified, return receipt letter to your ex (so you get a receipt that your ex received your letter) with your time line and what you expect to see going forward. (You can have an attorney write this for you, but it may cost you $500 - $1000. You can submit a project request here: ContractsCounsel.com (be sure to post in the Washington State section only).

If your divorce or legal separation has already been filed in court, and the ex continues to not follow the parenting plan even after you submitted a letter, set up a hearing to ask the judge in your case (or a commissioner) to order compliance. Be sure to include a copies of your timeline, letter, and receipt that shows you sent a letter (this will tell the judge you made a reasonable attempt to resolve this before going to court).

Most Washington State Courts have free forms available online for their court, and/or may have volunteers available in the courthouse who can give or sell you the right forms to use (they cannot, however, give you legal advice - just information, much like a librarian).

If you are low-income, you may be able to find some help from a local legal aid organization.

Legal issues in King County

Call 2-1-1 weekdays 9 am to 5 pm. They will refer you to a legal aid provider.

Outside King County

Call the CLEAR Hotline at 1-888-201-1014 weekdays 9:15 am - 12:15 pm.

Best wishes and good luck to you, and Happy New Year

A: I do not provide legal advice to people who are not my clients. Please consider the following to be general educational information, nothing more:

In Washington State, a non-custodial parent cannot unilaterally terminate their parental rights voluntarily, except in specific circumstances. Courts prioritize the child’s best interests, and parental rights are rarely terminated outside of an adoption or state intervention. Here's an outline of the process and considerations:

1. Understand the Grounds for Termination

Washington courts generally allow voluntary termination of parental rights only when:

There is a pending adoption: For instance, if a stepparent or another individual plans to adopt the child, the non-custodial parent's rights may be terminated as part of the adoption process.

There is a state intervention: If the Department of Children, Youth, and Families (DCYF) is involved and determines termination is in the child’s best interest.

Voluntary termination without another party assuming responsibility for the child’s support (e.g., in an adoption) is almost never granted, as it would leave the child without financial support from that parent.

2. Petition for Termination

If the situation qualifies (e.g., adoption):

File a Petition: The non-custodial parent or their attorney files a petition for voluntary termination of parental rights with the court.

Include reasons for the request and any relevant agreements (e.g., stepparent adoption plans).

Submit Supporting Documents:

Adoption petitions (if applicable).

Consent forms signed by the non-custodial parent.

3. Attend a Court Hearing

The court will schedule a hearing to review the petition.

Both parents and any other interested parties (e.g., prospective adoptive parents) must appear.

The court evaluates whether terminating rights is in the child’s best interests.

4. Consider Financial and Legal Implications

Child Support: Terminating parental rights typically ends the obligation to pay future child support. However, courts may not allow termination simply to avoid support obligations.

Inheritance and Benefits: Termination also ends the child’s right to inherit or receive benefits from the parent.

5. Alternatives to Termination

If the primary reason for termination is to resolve conflict or relieve parental obligations, consider alternatives:

Modify Custody Orders: Reduce visitation or decision-making authority.

Child Support Adjustments: Seek a modification of child support instead.

Legal Advice

Given the complexities and significant consequences, it is strongly recommended to:

Consult an Attorney: A family law attorney familiar with Washington State laws can guide you through the process.

Engage Other Parties: Ensure all relevant parties (e.g., the custodial parent, prospective adoptive parent) are prepared to participate.