Q: Is circumventing a court order knowing you are doing it the same as violating the order
My ex am I have an order stating neither one of us can cancel a Drs appointment made by the other, she brought him in to the Drs and got the second vaccine shot which was an appointment I made for another date, the office then canceled the appointment I made as it was obviously no longer needed, is this considered the same as ignoring the order even though the office canceled the appointment and not her because she went around the appointment set up by me
It is hard to say without reviewing the specific order, but a judge would probably look at your ex's intent, but also if that cancellation harmed you or the child in any way. If your ex took the child to a different scheduled appointment and the doctor offered to give your son the second vaccine at that appointment, it was probably better for all involved for your son to get the vaccine at that appointment. It meant one less doctor visit for your son, one less appointment for you, and no extra effort from your ex.
From your question, it sounds like you are hoping to be able to use this against your ex. While I know certain cases get extremely contentious, getting nit-picky about stuff like this usually causes more conflict and does not benefit your child. I know this probably wasn't what you were hoping to hear, and I obviously don't know anything about your case or the situation, but I would suggest trying to focus on your child and ask whether you think your child would want their parents fighting over something like an appointment.
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