Rockaway, NJ asked in Divorce and Family Law for New Jersey

Q: My soon to be ex & I are in an ISC mid-Oct. We are pro-se. I'm unemployed & know that I am going to get cut off all $

He filed in 2020 & everything has been slow because of court backlog. We are staying in house we own for 2 more years til the youngest finishes school. The amount he'd have to pay in alimony is minimal & I haven't worked in 30 years. 3 additional sons live home, and contribute a collective $1,000 to monthly mtg payment. If he is successful in getting me cut off, he won't pay for groceries, car insurance, cell or anything for me. What can I do? Case is scheduled for trial the end of Oct if we can't reach agreement. *(if the additional children had enough $ to live on their own they would be, but they don't have the money for all the things the ex wants to charge them for)*

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1 Lawyer Answer
Richard Diamond
Richard Diamond
  • Short Hills, NJ
  • Licensed in New Jersey

A: An Intensive Settlement Conference is a last-ditch attempt by the court to settle a case before it goes to trial. I have no idea what your husband earns, what the court will conclude you are capable of earning ( even though you are not currently working and have not worked in years), I have no idea how long you have been married, I have no idea what the assets of the marriage or even what your husband has been paying in support for you and for the children and it is impossible for me or for any other family law specialist to tell you what the outcome will be or even what is fair as an outcome without sitting down with you and getting a comprehensive understanding of your matter. The problem is that your matter is old and you have run out of time to try and settle it and you need to hire a lawyer to represent you since it is clear that you cannot represent yourself and have no idea what is fair for support or even how to present your proofs. This is a setting where you need to borrow money from family, friends or whomever else you can but you cannot walk into a courtroom thinking that the judge will protect you and make sure that you get what you are entitled to receive. Its not his / her job and the judge cant do it because the judge is then acting as your lawyer - which is impermissible.

If you are in need of support and your husband has the ability to pay, then spend the money to meet with / retain an attorney - its essential for you to do so.

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