Lake Hopatcong, NJ asked in Divorce, Family Law, Child Custody and Child Support for New Jersey

Q: Can I move out of the house with my kids before a divorce or agreement? Or would it be abandonment I live in NJ

Married 8 yrs living together 16. 2 kids 9 & 11 yrs old. The house is only under my husbands name but was bought right after my youngest son was born but before we got married, he doesn’t work(hasn’t for a few yrs) I pay the mortgage (I give him the money cash) and also pay bills thru my bank account. I take care of all the kids expenses also and evey year the taxes claimed go into his acct except this year that he said he would give me half if we filed together because he wasn’t gonna let me claim both kids. He tells me to leave but I’m afraid he will go after me for the kids and alimony stating it was abandonment

2 Lawyer Answers

A: There are too many complications to your story to give you a simple answer. You need to have a consultation with an experienced divorce lawyer to better understand your rights and potential problems. I would not consider moving out until you spoke with an experienced divorce lawyer, and he told you that you could do so (and he probably will tell you not to do so).

A: Abandonment or desertion is a fault-based ground for divorce in New Jersey. It is defined by statute (N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2) as "willful and continued desertion" for a term of 12 months or longer. One way to establish abandonment as a fault-based ground for divorce is by providing proof that the parties have stopped living together as a married couple. So, if you voluntarily/freely move out of the marital home, it may be possible for your spouse to file for divorce on grounds of abandonment after the requisite 12 month period.

However, in my experience, it is rare for spouses to file for divorce in New Jersey on fault-based grounds. More often, spouses file for divorce based on "no-fault" grounds such as irreconcilable differences persisting in the marriage for a period of 6 months or more (N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(i)).

In general, after a divorce complaint is filed, the status quo established during the marriage should be maintained. This does not necessarily mean that you "have" to live in the same household as your spouse. However, depending on the financial arrangements during the marriage, you may be required to pay alimony pendente lite (alimony during the pendency of the divorce litigation) to your husband if you financially supported him and the household during the marriage. A child support order may be entered as well.

Before making any decisions about your living arrangements or your divorce litigation, I would recommend scheduling a consultation with a family law attorney who can offer legal advice as to your specific situation and answer any questions you may have.

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