Hi is it bad to audio record verbal abuse of someone without their consent?

Question

I have a verbally abusive 30 year old cousin who yells at my mom and threatens to call the pound on my dog just because he is living outside, (he is licensed, I just lost the tag and can't come in due to my grandma's allergies). Anyways, I recorded him yelling at my mom calling her names and it isn't just about the dog he has pent up anger and acts very territorial over the house we live in which is our grandma's house. I recorded him on audio because I was scared he would hit my mom, in my case verbal can turn into physical any time, but he didn't know I was recording but found out about the recording because I sent it to my uncle for advice and he told his son who told my verbally abusive cousin and threatened to call the cops on me and threatened to call animal control on my dog. What do I do? Everyday he comes home to make a scene and we have gotten into a verbal fight where he got in my face and I felt like he was almost going to hit me.

James L. Arrasmith · Answer

I would strongly advise against secretly recording your cousin, as this could potentially be illegal under California law. California is a "two-party consent" state when it comes to recording conversations. This means that it is a crime to record a private conversation without the consent of all parties involved. There are some exceptions, such as if the recording captures evidence of certain serious crimes like violence, but in general, secretly recording audio of someone is very risky from a legal perspective. 
 
Instead, I would recommend taking these steps: 
 
1. Document the verbal abuse incidents with detailed written notes - dates, times, what was said, etc. This creates a record without the legal risks of secret recordings. 
2. If your cousin makes threats of violence or you feel unsafe, contact the police right away. Verbal threats and getting in your face aggressively could potentially constitute criminal threats or assault. 
3. Talk to your grandmother, as the homeowner, about your concerns. See if she would be willing to tell your cousin that the verbal abuse and aggressive behavior is unacceptable.  
4. Look into domestic violence resources and hotlines in your area. Even though he is a cousin not a partner, they may be able to provide support and advice for dealing with an abusive family member. 
5. For your dog, make sure you get a replacement license tag ASAP. If animal control does get called, having all required vaccines and licenses will help protect your pet. 
 
I'm so sorry you and your mom are dealing with this scary and stressful situation. Please be cautious about engaging with your cousin when he is being aggressive, and don't hesitate to call 911 if you feel imminently threatened. Wishing you all the best and I hope you're able to find a solution to keep yourselves safe.

Q: Hi is it bad to audio record verbal abuse of someone without their consent?