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California Domestic Violence Questions & Answers
1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence for California on
Q: What action should I take if I am possibly being charged as the perpetrator in a domestic violence case

I was actually the victim and only defending myself, I have pictures to prove I was being pinned up against my car when the incident occurred, I was not aware the cops were even called until they had already gone. I am on DISSABILITY and can not afford to pay a lawyer..No one has even gotten my... Read more »

James R. Dickinson
James R. Dickinson
answered on Sep 28, 2022

Speak with a lawyer who will defend you, that's the first action you should take. [I litigate cases. Anything posted here must not be construed as legal advice, nor as grounds for forming an attorney-client relationship. You should seek an attorney for formal legal advice and representation.]

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law, Personal Injury, Civil Rights and Domestic Violence for California on
Q: Hello, Can I get subpoenas when the hearings are already over? What forms do I use?

I filed Restraining orders against individuals for internet harassment, slander and other harassment...the hearings ready to place, RO not granted but I would still like to get the IP addresses from the businesses used by the harassing individual, to post the slander so that i can trace it... Read more »

James R. Dickinson
James R. Dickinson
answered on Sep 23, 2022

If the case is no longer active, what basis would you have? [I litigate cases. Anything posted here must not be construed as legal advice, nor as grounds for forming an attorney-client relationship. You should seek an attorney for formal legal advice and representation.]

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for California on
Q: What will happen if I didn't tell the police everything when I called on my spouse? How can I help dismiss the case

I called the police on my spouse cuz he took my cell phone and pushed me to the floor and I thought he was trying to do something to my mom. But he only pushed me cuz I was grabbing him and stopping him from getting in his car and he was trying to takey phone and we both were pulling it and I let... Read more »

James R. Dickinson
James R. Dickinson
answered on Sep 20, 2022

Witnesses should always tell the truth. You're not going to hear otherwise here. [I litigate cases. Anything posted here must not be construed as legal advice, nor as grounds for forming an attorney-client relationship. You should seek an attorney for formal legal advice and representation.]

2 Answers | Asked in Family Law and Domestic Violence for California on
Q: What are the charges for texting someone while on a TRO?

I am on a TRO given by my wife, The hearing is still coming. I texted her "I miss you" last week and didn't get any response. We are recently separated and she filed a restraining order on me. The hearing is next month. In the meantime a sherriff called me and wanted to talk to me in... Read more »

Dan Moseley
Dan Moseley
answered on Sep 19, 2022

A TRO typically orders the restrained party to have no contact of any kind with the protected party, but occasionally it will permit peaceful contact. If yours does not permit peaceful contact, then ANY contact by the restrained party is a violation and is prosecutable.

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1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law, Libel & Slander and Domestic Violence for California on
Q: Today the local News made a false post listing my spouse as a violent sexual offender. He has never had a sex charge.

He was sentenced yesterday to 20 yrs for domestic violence, I am the victim. Labeling him as a sex offender carries a huge risk for his safety, as well as my own. Is there any recourse?

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Sep 18, 2022

If it is a matter of public concern (as it seems to be) there are constitutional considerations. The statement would have to have been made with actual malice. It must also be provably false and that the news company either (1) knew it was false or (2) had a reckless disregard for its truth or... Read more »

3 Answers | Asked in Child Custody, Divorce, Family Law and Domestic Violence for California on
Q: If I live in a shelter, could I lose custody of my toddler to my ex?

I am currently going through a divorce with my ex, who has been abusive to me for the duration of our relationship. I'm currently living in our marital home with our toddler, with who we have agreed to share 50/50 custody through a stipulation filed with the court. My ex also had the court... Read more »

Dale S. Gribow
Dale S. Gribow
answered on Sep 13, 2022

YOU ARE ASKING THIS QUESTION TO A GROUP OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AKA CRIMINAL LAWYERS.

YOU NEED ADVICE FROM A LOCAL FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY.

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3 Answers | Asked in Child Custody, Divorce, Family Law and Domestic Violence for California on
Q: If I live in a shelter, could I lose custody of my toddler to my ex?

I am currently going through a divorce with my ex, who has been abusive to me for the duration of our relationship. I'm currently living in our marital home with our toddler, with who we have agreed to share 50/50 custody through a stipulation filed with the court. My ex also had the court... Read more »

James R. Dickinson
James R. Dickinson
answered on Sep 15, 2022

The law says that judges must give custody according to what is in the “best interest of the child.” To decide what is best for a child, the court will consider: The age of the child; The health of the child; The emotional ties between the parents and the child; The ability of the parents to... Read more »

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2 Answers | Asked in Domestic Violence, Criminal Law and Personal Injury for California on
Q: What kind of lawyer do I need if I've been d raped, beat held by threats of mental home or jail or killed and kids GONE.

What kind of lawyer . What are the charges if he's ever even held accountable

What if he's very vindictive and sets me up and has video of me attacking him but doesn't show how he threw broken glass razors and screws into my face while he hid in the dark so it shows only me... Read more »

Dale S. Gribow
Dale S. Gribow
answered on Sep 12, 2022

YOU SHOULD HAVE SHARED ALL THIS WITH THE POLICE, WHO THEN WOULD ARREST HIM FOR RAPE (AT LEAST) ......THE DA'S OFFICE HAS A UNIT TO DEAL WITH VICTIMS, AND THEY WOULD WORK TO ASSIST YOU.

MOST PEOPLE IN YOUR POSITION DO NOT HAVE THE FUNDS TO HIRE A PRIVATE LAWYER. IF SO, A LOCAL CRIMINAL...
Read more »

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1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence for California on
Q: My daughter's boyfriend moved into her home with her. They had a big fight and she had hit him on his back with her hand

He called cops and they arrested her for domestic violence, with a restraing order also. She wants all his belongings out now. Does she have the right to put stuff on curb?

Dale S. Gribow
Dale S. Gribow
answered on Sep 5, 2022

I WOULD THINK THAT WOULD BE REASONABLE.........HOWEVER, I WOULD CALL YOUR LOCAL POLICE TO REQUEST A KEEP THE PEACE OFFICER TO GO WITH YOU.

1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence and Landlord - Tenant for California on
Q: My partner and I have been living together for 4 years. Last month I had to call the police on him for acts of violence.

He is verbally abusive. I want to change the locks. Can I? He is also undergoing cancer treatments. I served him with a 30 day notice today. I am fearful of him and do not know what he might do. Any advice is appreciated.

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Aug 30, 2022

I would file a TRO (temporary restraining order) and seek a domestic violence restraining order (DVRO) to protect yourself from imminent harm.

1 Answer | Asked in Divorce, Family Law, Immigration Law and Domestic Violence for California on
Q: My wife left the house & ghosted me, How do I know If my wife is keeping the baby or not. We have been separated before!

I live in CA & is currently on a work visa. I got married in May 25,2021 in Bangladesh and came to USA shortly after that(Just me). My wife came to the USA January 2022 on F2. After a month of being together she left the house following 3 day argument which turned ugly. She filed a restraining... Read more »

Tobie Brina Waxman
Tobie Brina Waxman
answered on Aug 29, 2022

You could file a parentage action; open a case, in anticipation of the birth, and request custody/visitation orders along with order establishing you as the legal father.

2 Answers | Asked in Domestic Violence, Elder Law and Family Law for California on
Q: My 65 year old retired mother is being physically, mentally and financially abused by her 49 year old husband.

She is on a fixed income and recently refinanced the home because he demanded she pay him back for the down payment which was over 20 yrs ago. She has been the only one paying mortage, utilities. Hes been there freeloading. Now hes demanding she leave, its his house. Shes not allowed to eat his... Read more »

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Aug 17, 2022

It surely seems like a very toxic relationship. I recommend that she get away from him as soon as possible. The longer they remain married, the more money she may owe him in spousal support (aka alimony), since she is financially supporting him during the marriage.

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3 Answers | Asked in Domestic Violence and Personal Injury for California on
Q: I was arrested, based on my ex lies. domestic viol, but Im a victim. Bailed out same day, court in 3 weeks. What to doo?

It's first time in my life I've got arrested. I've done nothing to him, I don't know what he said to police. so embarrassing, stressing. Especially when you victim, it feels so not fair.. Also I don't know what to do next? Hire lawyer or go to DA or police. I just want to... Read more »

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Aug 17, 2022

The best solution is to find a qualified criminal defense attorney. If you cannot afford one, the court will appoint one for you. If you can afford one, it would be helpful to hire a criminal defense attorney who has specific experience in domestic violence defense cases.

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1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence for California on
Q: What happens if plaintiff or both parties do not show up for their restraining order hearing in California?
Dale S. Gribow
Dale S. Gribow
answered on Aug 13, 2022

In law nothing is certain.

It would be up to the bench officer.

I would think most judges would issue a Failure to Appear and Bench Warrant.

However, they would probably not come out to arrest you. When you are next stopped for a possible tix, the officer would see the BW...
Read more »

2 Answers | Asked in Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for California on
Q: Hi , I broke a restraining order with my son's father even though he offered to help

What I want to know is because of that violation and also having four misdemeanor warrants for paraphernalia and I was in a car accident with no license and I went to jail about 2 months ago and they didn't wipe those warrants away because I was o.r. I believe but I was told by the judge that... Read more »

Dale S. Gribow
Dale S. Gribow
answered on Aug 8, 2022

this is far to serious to try to get an answer over the phone.

clients are often not the best historians...and if you leave out one thing it could change the answer.

make an appt with a local criminal defense attorney who knows what the judges and DA's look for in that court....
Read more »

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1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence for California on
Q: Rights as someone with a restraining order against them.

My husbands ex wife took a restraining order out against him. If he doesn’t answer her calls she threatens to report him for violating the restraining order, which he didn’t. This also happens when he blocks her phone number except the threats come by email. He’s forced into talking to her... Read more »

Dale S. Gribow
Dale S. Gribow
answered on Jul 7, 2022

maybe he can recontact his family law attorney and request he put the matter back

"ON CALENDAR" and explain this to the judge.

as a criminal lawyer, we get called after someone is arrested or about to be arrested.

cut her off by bringing it before the court.

1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence for California on
Q: After a record is approved to be sealed and destroyed how long will it still be visible on a federal background check?

I work in aerospace and the background check is extensive

Dale S. Gribow
Dale S. Gribow
answered on Jun 29, 2022

it depends.................

with covid all the courts are behind on everything..........

i assume being in aero space you would have retained a lawyer to accomplish this.

this is too important to do on your own.

that lawyer the person that should be asked.

2 Answers | Asked in Domestic Violence for California on
Q: Does a police officer have to charge you with obstruction.

I was assaulted by my spouse when asked if she hit me I said no. I didnt want her to get into trouble. When she gave her statement she said she hit me so when asked again I said yes. I didnt currently get charged with it but would I have been told if I was getting charged ?

Dale S. Gribow
Dale S. Gribow
answered on Jun 29, 2022

when there is a DV call, the officer usually arrests 1 of the parties.

was she arrested?

i wouldn't worry about you and note that the DA charges, not the officer.

call a local lawyer for your wife

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1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence and Family Law for California on
Q: I have a restraining order in place. The restrained party is retaliating by filing small claims cases every two weeks

And filed a wrongful death lawsuit. 4 cases total in 2 months all lies and each getting thrown out of court. I am having to miss work to appear on these cases and fear losing my job over lies. Can I sue or get respondent in trouble for harassing me with court system?

John Karas
John Karas
answered on Jun 24, 2022

If as you say, the case were "thrown out of court" (meaning dismissed), you may be able to sue the restrained party for malicious prosecution if the dismissals were the result of a court determination that the lawsuits were without merit.

2 Answers | Asked in Child Custody, Domestic Violence and Family Law for California on
Q: I am looking for Pro Bono representation for child custody case with other party incarcerated for DV against myself.

Sentenced 10/2018 Parole Eligible 05/2029. We share 3 children under the age of 16. 14, 11, 9. I have affidavits for the older 2 but the last I listed no father. CA CPS Court recognized him as father of all 3. I am looking to obtain SOLE custody of all 3 mainly due to unhealthy communication from... Read more »

Eliza Jasinska
Eliza Jasinska
answered on Jun 6, 2022

Please discuss the facts with a local family law attorney. The incarceration of a parent, which sometimes follows an application for a domestic violence restraining order, is a significant factor that will require detailed fact-finding by the court so as to make appropriate orders. This is... Read more »

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