Carmichael, CA asked in Family Law for California

Q: Family law, divorce

I just started the process of filing for divorce.

My husband left for out of state without informing me on June 14, 2023.

Since then, we have both agreed to remote marriage counseling and have had it regularly.

But I decided to stop it and the last marriage counseling was on September 3, 2024.

Since the date of separation can affect certain legal aspects of the divorce, especially since I paid all the marriage counseling fees, I would like to ask you what date of separation I should include in the divorce petition.

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1 Lawyer Answer
James L. Arrasmith
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Answered

A: In California, the date of separation is when at least one spouse has the intent to end the marriage AND there are clear actions showing this intent. Your husband's departure in June 2023 could be considered the initial separation date, but your mutual agreement to attend marriage counseling might suggest you both intended to reconcile.

Given that you continued marriage counseling until September 2024, this shows there was still hope for reconciliation during that period. When you decided to stop counseling in September 2024, this could be viewed as the clearer date of separation since it demonstrates your definitive intent to end the marriage, coupled with the physical separation that was already in place.

The date you choose could impact various financial aspects, including reimbursement for the counseling fees you paid. Since you were paying for marriage counseling from community funds during the attempted reconciliation period, using September 2024 as your separation date might give you a stronger position for treating these expenses as shared marital costs. Consider consulting with a family law attorney who can review your specific circumstances and advise you on the most advantageous date to list on your petition.

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