Q: I’m going through a divorce after 15 years of marriage, and I have some questions about how to navigate it.
Custody and Support:
We’ve agreed on 50/50 custody of our 14-year-old son, with him living with me during the week and alternating weekends. My husband offered $150/week in child support directly to our son and will cover health insurance and extracurriculars. Is this acceptable?
Financial Matters:
He proposed selling the house he owned before our marriage and giving me half, but claims we are in financial distress and have debts, and I don’t have full access to our finances. How can I ensure a fair share of assets and debts?
Alimony:
My husband believes I don’t need alimony, as I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. Given my lack of income, age (54), and difficulty finding work, what are my alimony options?
Life Insurance and Car:
He offered to terminate my life insurance (giving me $7,000) and replace my car. Are these fair?
Legal Protection:
My husband doesn’t want a formal parenting plan or court-ordered support. How can I protect myself and my son without these?
A: Before you do anything, schedule a consultation with a local family lawyer. There is little to nothing to your advantage in what you have been offered. It is not even legal to not have a written parenting plan. You should absolutely pursue an alimony claim. Again, speak with an attorney near you. Many offer a free consultation.
Terrence H Thorgaard agrees with this answer
A:
While the timesharing arrangement proposed appears to be in your best interest, a critical review of the financial distribution plan is essential. At this juncture, it's impossible to ascertain whether the proposed financial settlement is equitable. A complete and transparent disclosure of all financial assets and liabilities is imperative to ensure a fair and just outcome.
In a divorce proceeding, your husband will be legally obligated to fully disclose all financial information, including income, assets, debts, and any other relevant financial documents. This comprehensive financial picture is crucial for determining a fair and equitable division of marital assets and liabilities, including spousal support, child support, and the allocation of debts
A:
As to the five topics you referenced (Custody & Support, Financial matters, Alimony, Life Insurance & Car, and Legal protection), you are free to enter into any agreement you like that addresses these topics. But beware, once you agree to the terms you are bound by them and cannot cry unfair later. This is why it is very important to get all of the facts/information first so that you can make a well-informed decision.
Without knowing the incomes of each party no one can tell you whether the child support (CS) amount he is offering is fair or equitable. CS normally is not left up to the parties to decide (unless the amount is more than what the child support guidelines says it should be). The child support guidelines are not flexible, it is a computer-generated figure based on several factors, most important are the party's incomes and the amount of timesharing (overnight) that each parent will be exercising.
Any time one spouse is offering to give you half of the non-marital house and give you cash and pay for a new car, flags should be going off that he does not want you know his true financial status. Is there a retirement plan, an IRA, investments, other checking/savings accounts, bonuses, etc..? Unless the offer he is making is too good to pass up and it would have to be really good then I would strongly suggest that you get full financial disclosure from first before making any decisions.
As for foregoing the parenting plan or court ordered support, well a parenting plan will be a requirement the court will demand to conclude your divorce. The support falls into the category of getting all of the information first before making a decision. Best of luck.
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