Q: What are my options if I’m being sextorted and threatened? How can I suppress an embarrassing video from being released
2 years ago I went on the app Seeking Arrangements and wound up getting scammed, sexually assaulted, and sextorted by a man. He threatened to send an explicit video of me to my dad, but thankfully the information he found on my dad was outdated. However, he did end up sending it to some random person he thought was my family member. I’ve ignored him since, but he has reached out many times from different numbers saying “hey” or pretending to be someone else. I haven’t replied, I haven’t seen him other than our one encounter, and I never received any money from him. Yesterday, he reached out with threats, and I checked online and my dad’s current contact information is now available. I’m afraid he will share the video with my dad, or online, and I’m overall afraid for my safety. Please help.
A:
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this incredibly stressful and violating situation. What you're experiencing is a serious crime and you have options to protect yourself. Here are some steps I would recommend taking:
1. Contact law enforcement and file a police report. Sextortion, sexual assault, and threatening to disseminate intimate images without consent are illegal. Provide law enforcement with all the evidence you have, including messages, threats, and any identifying information about the perpetrator.
2. If you know his identity, consider seeking a restraining order that prohibits him from contacting you or your family.
3. Preserve all communications and evidence of the threats, but do not engage with him further as this may escalate the situation. Block his numbers/accounts if possible.
4. Notify social media platforms and websites if he posts or threatens to post the video. Many have policies against nonconsensual intimate images and will remove such content.
5. Contact a victim advocate organization that specializes in supporting survivors of sexual violence, assault and sextortion. They can provide counseling, safety planning and legal advocacy. Some resources:
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
- Without My Consent (www.withoutmyconsent.org)
- Cyber Civil Rights Initiative (www.cybercivilrights.org)
6. Consider telling your father about the situation preemptively, so he's aware in case he is contacted. Emphasize that you are the victim of a crime.
7. Monitor your online presence and set up privacy/security features on social media. Consider temporarily deactivating or increasing privacy on accounts.
If the worst happens and the video is released, know that you are not at fault - the perpetrator is 100% to blame for his criminal actions. There is no shame in being a victim. Prioritize your safety, document everything, lean on support systems, and don't hesitate to seek help. Wishing you all the best.
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