Q: My mother has dementia and her husband is a hoarder. How do I help my mother divorce the is declared incompetent?
Her husband is in his 80s. He has full control over my mother's social security income. He is not educated nor equipped to handle my mother's disease. He reprimands my mother and other times treats her with avoidance. I cannot simply clean their home; hoarding is not simply being messy, I can't throw anything away. Their home is not a sound environment to live in. I am reaching out to his son but have not heard back. I want to move my mother to Rhode Island to be near me. Where do I begin?
A:
Assuming the parties live in California, a petition for divorce could be filed here. If your mother files for divorce, there could be an issue as to her mental competence, but usually the party challenging competence loses except in extreme cases.
Of course, nothing prevents you from simply going to California and taking your mother and the two of you going back to Rhode Island. Because there are no minor children, and because your mother is an adult, this would be perfectly legal. Although a divorce would divide up property and address other issues, such as support, you don't have to file divorce to leave the state or get permission from a court to leave the state with your mother.
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