Q: My cousin is 28 and she has a 12 year old daughter that will be 13 years old this year. To myself and my other family

A: No a 13 year old does not get to decide where she wants to live. Think about it... if that were the case she could live with a boyfriend. Getting guardianship, termination of parental rights and adoption or even custody of a child who has a biological parent requires proving to a court, by clear and convincing evidence, that mom, and bio dad, are both unfit to be parents. The standard for unfitness is very high and involves proving severe physical or sexual abuse of the child by a parent, or extreme incurable mental health issues on the part of the parent, or complete physical and financial abandonment of the child for at least 6 months, and a few other situations. The relevant statute is NCGS 7B-1111. Plus prove that you have a substantial relationship with the child, i.e. the child has lived with you or you have acted as a parent to the child. You need to discuss your options with a family law attorney local to where the child lives who has experience with third party custody cases.

A: No. She is a minor and cannot make those decisions until she is 18. You or other relatives who have a substantial relationship with the child, could seek custody, but to do so will need to able to prove the mother is unfit which is a high burden.

I would caution against getting social services involved unless the circumstances create a substantial risk to the child, otherwise they may get involved over something minor, and end up placing child in foster care.

I would suggest you consult with an experienced family law attorney who can evaluate the situation or seek to address your concerns directly with your sister and seek family counseling.