Q: Is it illegal for my ex wife to keep my childrens social security numbers away from me if I'm supposed to claim one
A: Check your prior tax returns, which will list the children's SSN. You can get copies of prior returns from the IRS. If the divorce decree and separation agreement specified that you could claim as a dependent, and she doesn't provide the SSN, then you could file with the court to order her to give the SSN or be found in contempt. Or contact the attorney who handled your divorce, or use the Find a Lawyer tab to retain a local family law attorney to assist you.
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