Lodi, CA asked in Divorce for California

Q: I can't file a motion for her to change her name back?

She's the one who filed for divorce because she didn't want to be married to me anymore, why does she get to keep my name even though she doesn't want to be with me?

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2 Lawyer Answers
Sandy Lynne Meade
Sandy Lynne Meade
Answered
  • San Diego, CA
  • Licensed in California

A: I'm sorry. This question comes up often, and it is never fun to explain that you have no power over whether or not she keeps her name as is or changes it. It is HER name so SHE gets to decide what name she wants to use. Often people keep their married name because it matches their children's last name or because all their documents like driver's license, passport, business license, business i.d, etc. are all in the married name and it's easier to keep it. If it helps, there are lots of people with my last name that I do not even know. If it is really a sore spot for you, you can always formally change your own name to something else (but I suspect this is a family name you wish to keep). Sorry I don't have a better answer for you, but remember you probably don't want someone else changing your name either so the rule protects everyone in a way. Hope this helps a little.

Maurice Mandel II
Maurice Mandel II
Answered
  • Newport Beach, CA
  • Licensed in California

A: I like Attorney Meade's response. It made me think of this. When you married her, you GAVE her your name. A gift is complete when the transfer is complete. (The Christmas present that never got under the tree was never given) Once you GIVE something away you part with all rights to it. Just like she gets to keep the wedding ring you GAVE her and you get to keep the one she GAVE you, because the gifts were all COMPLETE on the day you wed. No one has the right to ask for the gifts back. Giving is with no strings attached so you cannot pull it back. This is based on the law of gifts.

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