Q: My wife was charged with Dom Vio on me. Our oldest son was present. It was a small incident that got out of control.

A: In Virginia the Commonwealth Attorney decides whether to drop the charges in court. That said, they will listen to your wishes as the "victim." Under the Va code and the Va constitution they have to seek your input before disposing of a case. You will get a chance to tell them you want the charges dropped at that time. For a first time Dom Vio charge where nobody was hurt, it's common to get the charge dropped.

That said, your wife should hire a lawyer to help. Presenting mitigation evidence (like it was a stressful day or this has never happened before) or showing some affirmative action to correct the behavior (like a treatment program) can persuade the Commonwealth to dismiss the case. You might even see your wife get a disposition called a general continuance where the prosecutor continues the case out a few months to make sure nothing happens again then dismisses the charge when you return to court (assuming nothing else occurred).

Even if you got a tough prosecutor who wouldn't give your wife a break, the Virginia code allows for deferred disposition by statute for a first time offense (it requires treatment and other things over a period of 6 months followed by 2 years probation). There's a lot of other aspects to it such as do you need to testify, what do they have to prove, etc. The long and short is this. You can't decide to drop the charge but you can probably convince the Commonwealth to drop it with a lawyers help.

Sorry you're going through this and best of luck.