Q: How can I serve divorce papers to my STBX when I can't find anyone to ask as a server?

A: In California, if you are unable to find someone to serve your spouse with divorce papers in person, you may be able to serve them by mail. This process is known as "Service by Mail with Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt."

Here are the steps to serve your spouse by mail:

1. File your divorce papers with the court.

2. Obtain a copy of the "Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt" form (FL-117) from the court clerk or online.

3. Mail the following documents to your spouse's last known address:

- A copy of the Summons (FL-110)

- A copy of the Petition (FL-100)

- Two copies of the Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt (FL-117)

- A pre-addressed, stamped envelope for your spouse to return the signed Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt to you

4. If your spouse signs and returns the Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt, file the signed form with the court to prove that your spouse has been served.

5. If your spouse does not sign and return the Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt within 20 days, you will need to arrange for personal service.

It's important to note that serving your spouse by mail is only valid if they sign and return the Notice and Acknowledgement of Receipt. If they refuse to do so, you will need to arrange for personal service, even if you are living in the same household.

If you have any questions or concerns about the process, consider consulting with a family law attorney or seeking assistance from a family law facilitator at your local court.