Q: Me and my girlfriend separated after being together for 9 years. We have to kids and she is refusing to let me see them.

A: In California, unmarried fathers can seek custody and visitation rights for their children, whether biological or not. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Establish paternity: If you haven't already, establish paternity for your biological child through a voluntary declaration of paternity or a court order.

2. File a petition: File a petition with the family court requesting custody and visitation rights. You can file for joint legal and physical custody.

3. Best interest of the child: Courts make decisions based on the best interest of the child. Demonstrate your involvement in the children's lives and your ability to provide a stable environment.

4. Mediation: In California, parents are required to attend mediation before a court hearing. This is an opportunity to reach an agreement on custody and visitation.

5. Parenting plan: Develop a proposed parenting plan that outlines your desired custody and visitation schedule.

6. Court hearing: If mediation doesn't result in an agreement, attend the court hearing to present your case. Provide evidence of your relationship with the children and your ability to care for them.

7. Non-biological child: For the non-biological child, you may need to prove that you have a parent-child relationship and that it's in the child's best interest to maintain that relationship.

Consider seeking the assistance of a family law attorney who can guide you through the legal process and help protect your rights. Legal aid organizations may provide low-cost or free legal assistance if you qualify.