My mother-in-law has dementia. Prior to his death, my father-in-law ask my husband to take care of his mom.

Question

We moved into their house 2 weeks before his dad died. My husband's brother, David, is executor of estate and power of attorney for my mother-in-law. Per my husband, a verbal agreement was made that when my mother-in-law passed, her house would be sold and we would receive a larger portion for taking care of his mother. For 3 years, my husband solely took care of his mother. Side note: my other brother-in-law, Chuck, lived in the house as well. For the first 6 months we were charged rent, but it was decided we only need to pay our part of utility bills. My husband and I paid 95% of the food and toiletries.  It was talked about moving my mother-in-law to a specialty home because her dementia was getting worse. Suddenly, David told us we had to move out within 3 months because he sending their mom to Florida. He sold the house, put the proceeds in an account for her facility care. I asked my husband about us getting money but per David she is still alive therefore no money.

James L. Arrasmith · Answer

I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation you’re facing. Given the verbal agreement and the substantial care your husband provided for his mother, it’s understandable that you feel entitled to a larger portion of the estate. However, verbal agreements can be challenging to enforce legally, especially when it comes to estate matters. 
 
First, consider having a family meeting to discuss the situation openly with David and other family members. Present your case calmly and provide evidence of the care and expenses you have covered over the past three years. This might help in reaching a fair arrangement. 
 
If the discussion does not lead to a resolution, it might be necessary to consult with a legal professional who specializes in estate law. They can help you understand your rights and explore the possibility of making a claim based on the care provided. This will ensure that you and your husband are treated fairly and that your contributions are acknowledged.

Q: My mother-in-law has dementia. Prior to his death, my father-in-law ask my husband to take care of his mom.