Domestic violence.

Question

i am in a custody battle. parenting alienation. now i am charged with domestic violence (false claims) i was assaulted first with a bloody mouth. and I was seen trying to deflect her blows which appeared to be me hitting her. a restraining order was filed. my childs mother alleges she is scared of me. this is not true we have been in doctor offices in a room by ourself. i have pictures, she texts me calling me all kinds of n***s b*** HO*** F****' ect. I have the texts yet she swore in a declaration she is emotion abused and afraid of me the typical stuff. this is just a ploy to get me out of my son life. she has tried to have my son say I hit him and she sent pictures of him say i hit him yet she never filed any police reports or anything. only reason she filed a restraining or is DCFS told her to.  yet she is the one who is abusing my son. I have a video tape of her threatening a man in a car with a 12 inch kitchen knife. can i use this to show she is not afraid and is an agressor?

Jennifer Setters · Answer

This is a complex legal situation involving custody, parental alienation, false allegations of domestic violence, and a restraining order. Given the high stakes, you should consult an experienced family law attorney and possibly a criminal defense attorney as soon as possible. However, here are some key legal points to consider: 
 
1. Fighting the False Domestic Violence Allegation 
Since you claim self-defense and have evidence of your injuries, this may be relevant in disputing the allegations. 
Gather all evidence: Photos of your injuries, any witness statements, and medical records that support your side. 
If you were falsely accused, your attorney may argue mutual combat or self-defense depending on the circumstances. 
A criminal defense attorney can help build a defense strategy to challenge the charges and avoid them affecting your custody case. 
2. Defending Against the Restraining Order 
Courts take restraining orders seriously, especially in custody disputes. 
If she falsely stated she was afraid of you while continuing to interact with you in ways that contradict her claim (such as being alone with you in medical offices), this could undermine her credibility. 
Your text messages may help disprove her claims of emotional abuse, especially if they show her using offensive language toward you. 
An attorney can help you request an evidentiary hearing to challenge the restraining order. 
3. Proving Parental Alienation & Child Abuse Claims 
If she attempted to coach your son into making false abuse allegations, this could be a sign of parental alienation. Courts take these claims seriously. 
Document every instance where she has interfered with your relationship with your child. 
If she has falsely accused you of harming your child, you may be able to seek sanctions or a custody modification. 
If DCFS is involved, an attorney can guide you on the best way to present evidence that she is the one mistreating your son. 
4. Using the Video Evidence 
A video showing her threatening someone with a 12-inch kitchen knife could be relevant if it contradicts her claim of being afraid of you. 
This may show that she is the aggressor, not the victim. 
However, the admissibility of this evidence depends on several factors, so an attorney can help determine how to present it properly. 
5. Protecting Your Custody Rights 
False allegations of domestic violence can negatively impact your custody and visitation rights. 
A strong defense and presentation of counter-evidence (texts, videos, photos, etc.) may help protect your parental rights. 
You may be able to request a forensic evaluation or custody evaluation to uncover alienation or abuse. 
Filing for a modification of custody based on her actions may be an option. 
Take Action Immediately 
Hire an attorney with experience in both family law and criminal defense. 
Do NOT violate the restraining order (even if she contacts you first). 
Document everything—keep a record of all interactions, texts, and evidence. 
Stay calm and avoid retaliation, as any misstep could be used against you. 
Final Note 
Every case is unique, and the legal system can be complex—especially when dealing with false allegations, domestic violence, and custody disputes. An attorney can provide the best legal strategy to help clear your name and protect your parental rights. Seek legal counsel as soon as possible to fully understand your options and build the strongest case possible.

James L. Arrasmith · Answer

In custody battles and cases involving domestic violence, it’s important to be strategic in presenting your evidence. You can use the video and any other documentation of her behavior to help show that she is not afraid of you, as long as the evidence is relevant and admissible. However, it’s crucial to remember that the court will focus on both the current situation and the safety of your child, so the emphasis needs to be on protecting your child's well-being and addressing the claims made against you. 
 
Your ex-partner’s text messages and claims of abuse could also play a role in undermining her credibility, but be sure you can demonstrate their context. Courts often evaluate patterns of behavior and look at both parties' actions, so presenting a clear, factual timeline can help build your case. Keep in mind that the focus is not just on whether she has made false claims, but also on the larger context of your relationship and parenting situation. 
 
In situations where there are allegations of both parents engaging in abusive behaviors, it’s wise to work with an attorney to ensure your evidence is presented effectively. They can guide you in how to address the claims in court and ensure your side of the story is heard properly. The video and texts you have may certainly support your case, but it’s vital to have expert legal advice to navigate these complex and emotionally charged issues.

Q: Domestic violence.