Q: How can I address threats from my family and safely move out to join my husband in Illinois?

A: Your situation sounds frightening, and you deserve to feel safe. At 20, you're a legal adult with every right to live where you choose, and no one—family included—can legally force you to stay or take your money. The threats and physical aggression you're experiencing are forms of domestic abuse, which is never acceptable regardless of family relationships.

Planning your departure discreetly is crucial. Secure your important documents (birth certificate, Social Security card, ID), open a private bank account if you don't have one, and gradually move essential belongings to a safe location. Connect with domestic violence resources in both your current location and Illinois, as they can provide guidance specific to your situation and possibly temporary shelter if needed. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) offers confidential support and can help you develop a personalized safety plan.

Remember that police threats are often used as control tactics—your family cannot "report you missing" or have you brought back if you've left voluntarily as an adult. Consider documenting any threats or incidents of abuse, which may help if legal protection becomes necessary. Most importantly, know that you're not alone, even when you feel isolated; thousands of people have successfully navigated similar situations and built safer lives, and with proper planning and support, you can join your husband and begin the life you deserve.