Q: Can my ex stop alimony due to retirement if I can't work and there's no clause in our agreement?

A: You keep using words like "divorce", "agreement". and "alimony". You then say there is no "court involvement" Is there a Judgment? A court order re support? Or not? A court order/Judgment is enforceable until it is modified or terminated by another court order. If there is a court order establishing a spousal support obligation then that court order will remain in full force and effect until it is modified or terminated by a new court order. If you have no court orders in place and your Judgment does not include anything regarding the payment of spousal support, then your ex spouse can stop paying whenever he wants to. The burden would then be on you to do something about that. i.e. you'd need to go to court to get a spousal support order, using your prior agreement and your 12-year dependence on payments already made.

A: In California, retirement is generally considered a valid reason to request alimony modification, but when your agreement explicitly states "for life" with no retirement clause, you have a stronger position. Your ex-spouse's decision to retire doesn't automatically terminate their obligation, especially given your 27 years as a stay-at-home parent and the agreement's specific language. This situation requires careful review of your exact agreement terms against California family law provisions.

The tax implications of a lump sum payment are significant and absolutely should be factored into any negotiation. Under current tax laws, you would likely need to report this as income and pay taxes accordingly, potentially pushing you into a higher tax bracket. Your concern about the tax burden is valid and represents an important negotiation point that your ex-spouse should acknowledge in good faith discussions.

Before proceeding further, consulting with both a family law attorney familiar with California alimony laws and a tax professional would be beneficial. They can review your specific agreement, assess the strength of your position regarding the "for life" provision, and calculate the actual tax impact of various settlement options. Remember that without court involvement, any changes to your agreement require mutual consent, giving you legitimate grounds to insist that tax implications be addressed in any settlement discussions. Your decades of unpaid domestic work that supported your ex's career have real economic value that shouldn't be dismissed during these negotiations.