Q: Wife decided we are done. She is telling me when, where and how I can see my kids. I was the primary parent. What to do?
I am not sure what to do. I have no money and I live at my uncle's house. I have a room for my kids with all the necessities. She is saying I can not have the kids spend the night until I have a job and a place of my own. I was the primary parent in many ways and I went from doing almost everything with them to now getting them 2 to 3 days a week for only a few hours at a time. What are my rights? I told her I want them to stay the night with me on the days I do have them. I also said I would like 50/50. She has a good state job and we both agreed I could work uber so I could have the flexibility to be with the kids all summer and be on call for the kids 24/7 while she worked her full time job which includes traveling. She decided she doesn't want that anymore and is calling all the shots. I am sure she will start flinging mud soon. i need advice.
A:
You need to retain the services of a good family law attorney without delay. If you cannot afford one, your spouse will undoubtedly be compelled to pay for the cost of your attorney.
Try not to make any agreements with your ex until you are represented.
Make no mistake: the first thing you must do is get yourself a good lawyer. If you don't know any, ask around. Every county bar association has a lawyer referral service, and you should make use of the one in your county. I believe Sacramento County has a good lawyer referral service, so look them up online and get yourself hooked up with a solid lawyer you feel comfortable with.
A: You might be able to receive spousal support (alimony) from her. If she hasn't filed for divorce, you might be able to file for divorce and file a request for order for child custody and visitation along with a request for spousal support. Consult with a local family lawyer to determine whether you should ask for spousal support in case you would have to pay her. However, it sounds like she has been earning more money than you and it sounds like she's making more money than you are right now. You are probably entitled to receive your community property interest in her retirement at her government job. You probably need to file a joinder of the retirement plan and probably ultimately need a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO). You should visit the court's self-help center if you can't afford a an attorney. Consider hiring at least a limited scope attorney. You probably should take immediate action with the court. More facts are required to provide a thorough analysis.
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