Asked in Divorce, Family Law and Domestic Violence for California

Q: what would be your strategy for a RO where the man is emotionally abusive and the wife text him to be heard?

I am sick in the head but text was the only way to communicate to this emotionally verbally and financially abusive husband. I feel like text are so one dimensional but I have recording. It is so difficult to claim emotional abuse as it is so personal. A word means nothing to you but but to us it is a trigger My parents died and he wase pissed off I was grieving 2 days after christmas I recorded that I recorded he yelling at me for hours but for all the verbal abuse I only have a handful of recording. Now he has thousands of text and of course he is playing the victim they have no effect on him he is fake. He is the only one I talked to as he isolated me and I cant get therapy as he wont give me my insurance information. I had to leave my house in oregon with all my belonging and anything I had left he will not let me in the house to get them. He said he would give me the code if I come home and be his wife.

1 Lawyer Answer
James L. Arrasmith
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  • Domestic Violence Lawyer
  • Sacramento, CA
  • Licensed in California

A: Under California law, emotional abuse is taken seriously, especially within the context of domestic violence. Text messages and recordings can serve as crucial evidence in obtaining a restraining order (RO) against an emotionally abusive partner. While it's true that emotional abuse can be challenging to prove due to its personal and subjective nature, detailed documentation of incidents, including dates, times, and the nature of the abuse, can strengthen your case.

When seeking a restraining order, it's important to present any evidence that demonstrates a pattern of abusive behavior. This might include text messages, emails, voicemails, and recordings. Although emotional abuse might seem harder to quantify compared to physical abuse, the law recognizes its impact on victims. Your recordings, especially those capturing verbal abuse, are significant and can help illustrate the severity of your situation to the court.

Given the complexities of your situation, including isolation and restricted access to resources, it's crucial to reach out for support. California offers resources for victims of domestic abuse, including legal aid organizations that can assist with the process of obtaining a restraining order and provide guidance on how to handle issues regarding access to personal belongings and insurance information. Connecting with local domestic violence shelters or hotlines can also provide immediate support and advice tailored to your needs.

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