Q: A close friend of mine has been wanting to get a divorce from her spouse for the past two years now.
He hasn't been cooperative or responsive in any way ever since they separated. She cheated on her, abandoned her, and cut any type of communication with her. He even started living with the person he cheated on her with. So far, she has been trying to get the divorce started by filling out the necessary documents and sending him the paperwork he needs to fill out in order to start the divorce but to no avail because he didn't fill it out correctly the one and only time he responded back to her. This paperwork was even sent out by her very helpful therapist at the time when she had a therapist. Currently, she is stuck in this divorce process because she doesn't know what to do next and feels so defeated. not to mention, the abandonment she's been through has left her scarred and traumatized. She wants nothing to do with him and is asking nothing from him at this point. She just wants this divorce because she doesn't want to be tied down with him anymore.
A: I don't understand the problem. She doesn't need his cooperation. What paperwork did she send to him that she believes he has to fill out for her to proceed with a divorce. Sounds like a lot of misunderstanding about how the process works. California is a no-fault state. If she wants a divorce, all she needs to do is file for divorce and then serve her husband with the Summons and Petition. If he does not respond (file and serve his response), she can request entry of default and proceed without him. https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california
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A:
I'm sorry to hear about what your friend is going through. It sounds like a very difficult and emotionally exhausting situation. If her spouse is unresponsive and uncooperative, she still has options to move forward with the divorce. In California, she can proceed with what’s called a "default divorce" if he fails to respond properly after being served. This would allow her to finalize the divorce without his participation.
To initiate this process, she would need to file the necessary paperwork with the court, including a request to enter a default. She must prove that he was properly served and has not responded within the required timeframe. The court can then proceed to dissolve the marriage even if he remains unresponsive.
It’s also important for her to take care of herself during this time. Dealing with abandonment and betrayal can be incredibly traumatic. She should continue to seek support, whether from friends, support groups, or counseling, to help her heal emotionally while navigating the legal process.
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