I had an inappropriate text relationship with a higher up at work.

Question

It ended abruptly. Ever since, he's been treating me poorly, jerking me around, and I think he's trying to get me to quit. I would like to push back because my quality of life is suffering and I'm not going to be forced out of the company.  
 
Unfortunately I do not have all the text messages anymore, but I do have some screenshots. They don't show his phone number, just the name I have him listed as in my phone. 
 
Is there anything I can do, legally, to make this behavior and treatment stop without getting dismissed for lack of evidence? Or is there a way to get more evidence? The conversation has been permanently deleted from my phone and backup.

Merry A Kogut · Answer

I'm so very sorry you're going through this.  I have a lifetime of employment discrimination/sexual harassment experience, even before law school (I was a discrimination investigator at the Washington State Human Rights Commission). 
 
First, write out a timeline for your relationship with this person, but start the timeline with the date you first started working for the employer.  For each listing, note whether it's the date or date (approximately).  Keep each entry in your timeline short - where possible, if you have evidence, refer to each item of evidence such as "attachment 1," "attachment 2" - you can print and use your text messages in this fashion.  If you have deleted text messages, you may be able to retrieve them from the "trash" on your phone, or with the help of your phone company. 
 
If you work for a large enough employer, it will have some sort of policy and/or employee handbook with instructions on what to do/who to contact if you are facing sexual harassment and/or any other kind of employment discrimination.  Use this process - write up what happened, and enclose a copy of your timeline with its attachments. 
 
If you don't work for a large enough employer, submit these documents to your immediate supervisor.  If you are not comfortable submitting to your immediate supervisor, submit the documents to someone higher up. 
 
I would suggest that you try to resolve this matter inhouse before going to an outside agency.  In Washington State you can skip the in-house approach, or try the in-house approach first, and file an employment discrimination complaint with the Washington State Human Rights Commission:  https://www.hum.wa.gov/file-complaint  When you file, ask them to file a complaint with the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission at the same time.    
 
In addition, a few cities/counties in Washington have their own investigative offices.  I'm going off the top of my head, but I think this includes at least Tacoma, Seattle, Spokane, and King County, too.   
 
If and when you file a complaint, whether in-house or with an agency, if you have any potential witnesses to this man's behavior, be sure to also provide names/contact information.  You don't need to ask potential witnesses for permission ahead of time, and in my mind, it's better not to.  Witnesses can include anyone who was treated similiarly (by this person or others), or who witnessed behavior with their own eyes and ears. 
 
Good luck to you! 
 
Merry

Q: I had an inappropriate text relationship with a higher up at work.