Modesto, CA asked in Civil Rights, Domestic Violence, Libel & Slander and Sexual Harassment for California

Q: Hi my ex boyfriend has been stalking me for about six months and I need help on how to get a restraining order

He keeps calling and texting but I have no record of it because I would ignore the calls and delete them. I am scared of him because when I tried to kick him out of my apartment he had tried to hit me six months ago and when I file for a restraining order they said they can't do anything since it's domestic violence and they can't find him to serve him. His girlfriend who I have a restraining order against also keeps cyberbulling me and I was denied on pressing charges because I couldn't find my restraining order papers since I moved out of my apartment. My ex boyfriend on the other hand pretended to be a job recruiter and now has my information on where I live and where I work so I am scared he will mess with my job or harass me at my job and I've almost given up at this point I don't know what to do, the police were the ones to tell me to file against him because he even slashed my tires last time I moved on with someone else. I have no contact with. I want him to leave me alone.

1 Lawyer Answer
James L. Arrasmith
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  • Domestic Violence Lawyer
  • Sacramento, CA
  • Licensed in California

A: Under California law, you have the right to seek a restraining order against someone who is stalking or harassing you, including an ex-boyfriend. Since you have experienced physical threats and property damage, this significantly supports your case for a restraining order.

Begin by documenting any instances of stalking or harassment, even if you have previously deleted messages or ignored calls. Going forward, keep a record of all incidents, including dates, times, and the nature of the contact. This documentation will be crucial in court.

You can file for a restraining order at your local California court. The court's self-help center can guide you through the process. You don't need an attorney to file, but you may find it helpful to consult one, especially given the complexity of your situation.

If you're having trouble locating your ex to serve him with the restraining order, consider hiring a professional process server. They are skilled in locating individuals and serving legal documents.

Regarding your safety at work, inform your employer about the situation. They can take steps to ensure your safety and may be able to assist with the legal process.

Lastly, don't give up. The legal system can be challenging, but it's there to protect individuals like you. Stay persistent and seek support from local resources, such as victim advocacy groups, for additional guidance and support.

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