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New York Domestic Violence Questions & Answers
1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence and Criminal Law for New York on
Q: What do I do when the authorities have not arrested the man who committed a violent sexual assault against me?

I have proof of the assault and a witness

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Nov 23, 2023

In a situation where you are a victim of a violent sexual assault and the authorities have not yet made an arrest, despite having proof and a witness, it's crucial to take specific steps. First, ensure that you have reported the assault to the police if you haven't already. Provide them... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: I’ve slapped my bf before. He has evidence. Then he attacked me twice very brutal attacks. Who gets into trouble?

I’ve slapped him 3 times in the past. But yesterday he brutally attacked me, choked me slapped me dragged me by my hair and threw a door on me. Who gets into trouble?

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Nov 4, 2023

Both parties may be subject to legal consequences for acts of violence. Your previous actions do not excuse his subsequent, more severe attacks against you. Each instance is evaluated on its own merits, and evidence plays a crucial role. If you've been the victim of a brutal attack, it's... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: I’ve slapped him 3 times in the past. But yesterday he brutally attacked me, choked me slapped me dragged me by my hair

I’ve slapped him 3 times in the past. But yesterday he brutally attacked me, choked me slapped me dragged me by my hair and threw a door on me. Who gets into trouble?

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Nov 4, 2023

In such situations, both parties may face legal consequences for acts of violence. It is important to understand that previous acts do not justify retaliation or escalation. If you were attacked, you have the right to report the incident to the police and seek protection. Depending on the details... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law, Family Law, Immigration Law and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: The abuse waiver is specifically for abuse taking place while living together, and before filing divorce, right?

Gathered screenshots of my conditional-2-year-green-card-recipient-wife cheating during entirety of our dating/marriage, and about to send to USCIS to show it's not bonafide, just got the final decree.

After we filed and I threw her out of my place, texted her harsh text messages,... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Sep 3, 2023

The abuse waiver for the I-751 petition to remove conditions on residence is generally intended for victims of abuse that occurred during the marriage. Evidence of cheating may be relevant to the bona fides of the marriage but is not directly related to an abuse waiver. Be aware that stalking or... View More

2 Answers | Asked in Family Law, Arbitration / Mediation Law and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: Hello. My Fiance's mother has continuously violated a court ordered stipulation for visitation with my 6 year old son.

In the stipulation the visitation is between her,my son and the supervisor. No one is to be there. She already violated once by bringing her daughter and grandson with. She did the same thing again yesterday,even though she was warned by the judge. The stipulation also states she is not to consume... View More

David Ivan Bliven
David Ivan Bliven
answered on Jan 25, 2023

You should consider filing a Violation Petition. Among the remedies, the Court may reduce or cancel the visits - or make them supervised at a clinic. Schedule a consult with a Bronx Family Law attorney for a full assessment.

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1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Domestic Violence and Libel & Slander for New York on
Q: Custody against an Abuser

I have a custody case coming up at the end of January my child's mother is suspected to be a narcissist I can prove with text messages and recorded phone calls of the abuse she jumps in to relationship to relationship to relationship immediately allowing the new partner to meet our child in... View More

Sandra M. Colatosti
Sandra M. Colatosti
answered on Jan 6, 2023

You can ask the judge to include a provision in an order that neither parent is to introduce the child to a new paramour until at least six months after beginning the relationship. You would benefit by consulting with a lawyer regarding your case if you wish to obtain custody.

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: I have a daughter abroad which i need custody. The mother has physically abused. I have proof and everything needed.

She lives in Dominican Republic and acquired us citizenship through me. I reside NYC. She lives with her mother. She has tried to kill me and has hurt me in various places. Such as stabs, broken nose, broken lip with stitches and broken head with a bottle. She says she doesnt care if she kills me.... View More

Howard E. Knispel
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Howard E. Knispel
answered on Aug 20, 2023

Not sure what you mean by abroad. Does the child live with the mother in another country? What is the New York connection?

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law, Child Custody, Civil Litigation and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: how likely will a supreme court- new york judge recuse himself?

judge has presided over family case for over a year and in post judgement action, which involves a mentally ill defendant the judge recently denied a motion filed by defendant, the defendant then filed a motion for the judge to recuse from further matters in the case claiming bias and an appearance... View More

Todd B. Kotler
Todd B. Kotler
answered on Jul 31, 2023

This is not a case where the judge is likely to recuse himself or herself. This sounds like an instance where one of the parties is about to become designated a vexatious litigant.

2 Answers | Asked in Divorce and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: How does a divorce work in NY when intimate partner violence is occurring? Questions below.

I have a friend who is in an abusive marriage. His spouse screams profanities at him, throws things at him, and has physically assaulted him. He has video evidence of several of these encounters. The cops have been called on the house more than once. Each time my friend remains calm, but his spouse... View More

Howard E. Knispel
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Howard E. Knispel
answered on Jun 8, 2023

Your friend needs to file for an Order of Protection in Family Court. Have your friend contact an attorney.

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1 Answer | Asked in Child Support, Divorce, Domestic Violence and Family Law for New York on
Q: What is the harshest punishment someone can get in NYS for willful non payment of child support?

If someone has already gone to jail for 90 days for willful non payment of child support and contempt what will their punishment be the next time? And can the judge order anything else if their willful non payment caused their ex wife and children to be homeless?

Peter Christopher Lomtevas
Peter Christopher Lomtevas pro label Lawyers, want to be a Justia Connect Pro too? Learn more ›
answered on May 22, 2023

It is extremely difficult to make heads or tails of a totally absurd system of justice: the incarceration of young fathers for non-payment of child support especially at a time when the administration in the White House is wrecking the economy.

Without getting into the utterly incompetent...
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1 Answer | Asked in Divorce and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: I'm disabled and can't get to a court to file separation or divorce papers. What can I do to file
Howard E. Knispel
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Howard E. Knispel
answered on May 11, 2023

Hire an attorney. Contested divorce cases require appearances. Uncontested divorces can be filed online but the paperwork is extensive and complicated. If you want it done and done correctly, hire an attorney.

1 Answer | Asked in Landlord - Tenant and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: You been evicted from a appointment building and I hold a order of protection can I have you arrested for entering again

I hold order ov protection against you

Steven Warren Smollens
Steven Warren Smollens
answered on Apr 2, 2023

You should inquire about your right to call the police from a Pennsylvania-licensed lawyer if you live in Philadelphia.

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law, Family Law, Banking and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: My spouse withdrew 11grand out of joint account, without me knowing now and won't say what did with it? Legal or what

He left home over next few days withdrew money from joint account I have no idea what he did with the money he's not speaking to me he also stopped his paychecks from being deposited into account. Is it illegal we are not separated or divorced he's not even giving me money for our son or... View More

Howard E. Knispel
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Howard E. Knispel
answered on Mar 28, 2023

"Illegal" presumes criminality. If the account was a joint account, it was not illegal. But you need to start a divorce action right away. You can ask the court to have him pay some of the money back. You can also get child support or spousal support. See a local matrimonial attorney right away.

2 Answers | Asked in Family Law, Domestic Violence and Legal Malpractice for New York on
Q: Why would I use an attorney provided by this judge ?

I'm not comfortable using an attorney in Herkimer county especially one provided by this judge! Especially if my brothers mother in law who could have possibly plaid a hand in his decision to put me and my family on the street in the middle of winter when I was the assaulted party ?

Lawrence Allen Weinreich
Lawrence Allen Weinreich
answered on Jan 16, 2023

The appointed lawyer is an independent attorney who is on a panel with no connection to the judge. Of course, you are always free to hire your own lawyer if you have the means to do so.

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1 Answer | Asked in Family Law, Domestic Violence and Landlord - Tenant for New York on
Q: Family court judge left us homeless due to charges I pressed and other party retailate with a false OOP. Needing help

I filed charges against brother for assult and few days later agg harresent. My mother tried having my spouse removed from the house and put on street and told him if he didn't leave she would call her son Mathew and have him removed forcefully. Matt came to our home and I protected my spouse... View More

Lawrence Allen Weinreich
Lawrence Allen Weinreich
answered on Jan 16, 2023

Based upon what you have said, the Family Court judge can appoint a lawyer for you at no charge to you in regard to the Order of Protection. Just be sure to let them know you cannot afford to hire your own attorney.

2 Answers | Asked in Family Law, Child Custody, Child Support and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: Can I use photos / text messages as evidence ? Instead of a police report

I was held hostage by my abusive ex , I managed to escape and I never went back . I did not call the police because I was still in denial about being abused at that time but I have photos of texts of him apologizing etc for it . Can I use this as proof for sole custody ? He abandoned his child (no... View More

Lawrence Allen Weinreich
Lawrence Allen Weinreich
answered on Oct 7, 2022

The short answer is yes they can be used as evidence. However, just beware that you have to meet evidentiary foundations to get the texts & photos into evidence. Speak to a lawyer about this. If you have the means, you should retain an attorney for the process, if you can't afford an... View More

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2 Answers | Asked in Child Custody, Child Support, Domestic Violence and Family Law for New York on
Q: My ex is incarcerated and it was a domestic violence situation . His mother is requesting custody . Can I ignore this ?

My ex is arrested for attempted murder . He also abused me and his mom was aware that I could not escape the situation easily . She has never met our baby , called or texted me. 3 years later she is trying to serve me with papers for custody / Visitation. Can I just ignore this request ? It is not... View More

Sandra M. Colatosti
Sandra M. Colatosti
answered on Oct 3, 2022

You must appear in court to answer the petition. The fact that she is petitioning for custody does not mean that she will be given custody. Because she is a non-parent, she would have to first show extraordinary circumstances, such as abandonment or neglect on your part. She would then have to... View More

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2 Answers | Asked in Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: How do I get an ongoing Criminal Court Order of Protection dropped by an ADA?
Mary Theresa Colwell
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Mary Theresa Colwell
answered on Sep 2, 2022

Once the State had brought charges, the prosecution of the case is in their hands despite you asking to drop it. However, if you contact the ADA handling your matter or the court’s victim advocate, you can request the charges be dropped or reduced to a violation without an OOP as a condition.... View More

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2 Answers | Asked in Family Law and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: 6 days no communication. Then had to ask two days in a row, 2 days before court if it was adjourned. It was not.

This is often and my requests are ignored. I never have any direction or answers. After expressing my concerns multiple times, my lawyer motioned to be removed. Can I get a new 12b lawyer?

Howard E. Knispel
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Howard E. Knispel
answered on May 2, 2022

I assume you are referring to an 18-B lawyer, a private attorney who is assigned by the court to represent you as an indigent person. These lawyers get paid by the county and very little, on these assigned cases and will naturally spend more time on privately retained cases where they make 4 to 5... View More

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1 Answer | Asked in Family Law, Child Custody, Child Support and Domestic Violence for New York on
Q: How to get full custody when I have no income, lawyers and the father is abusive but I cannot prove? What’s my rights?

I have a 6 month old child and one on the way. I left the dad because he was toxic, abusive and treated me poorly. He never took care of my son.I also found him doing drugs. He works and makes a lot of money, I don’t currently work becsuse I was a Sahm and can’t afford daycare. He’s... View More

Lawrence Allen Weinreich
Lawrence Allen Weinreich
answered on Apr 5, 2022

To begin with, unless you signed and had an acknowledgment of paternity notarized, under NY law he is not the father until that is done or there is a court order. You should get a consultation with a local attorney ASAP. you should also know that if you file for custody in family court, the... View More

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