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North Carolina Domestic Violence Questions & Answers
1 Answer | Asked in Divorce and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: I have been separated from my abusive husband for 10 years I want a divorce but I don't know where he is

He is illegal and I haven't the slightest idea where he is since he has been on the run from the police. My question is what would be the easiest and fastest way for me to get a divorce? I would really like to move on from this chapter of my life. Thanks!

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Jan 22, 2018

the easiest and fastest way would be for you to find him and get him properly served. If you can not do that, you can still get divorced but it will take much longer and be way more expensive. Visit our site at www.easyncdivorce.com

1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: what can you do if your being emotionally abused?

My boyfriends parents fight a lot, he yells at her and makes her cry, stressed and depressed, what can she do? She wont leave. Its gotten so bad that she took her sons and grandson to another house to sleep, to get away from him.

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Jan 16, 2018

If she won't leave, there is likely nothing you can do unless he commits a crime in which case you can call law enforcement. However, no matter how well intentioned you are, you never know how your meddling in other peoples affairs will turn out - could be helpful, could be disastrous or anything... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: A Case Dismissed, Future Jobs at Risk?

Someone has a case over a domestic issue, when really it is not anything but overreacted people and emotions. The case is supposed to be dismissed from too many continuations of "victim" not showing. For the defendant who has no criminal history, if this case is removed, does she have to worry... Read more »

Kristen Dewar
Kristen Dewar answered on Jan 10, 2018

Generally, dismissed charges do not appear on a commercial criminal background check typically run by potential employers.

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: In a domestic violence case the judge orders the defendant to not have contact with the victim and is sentenced, but

Then the defendant and victim get married can this no contact order be amended by the judge?

Bill Powers
Bill Powers answered on Jan 9, 2018

GREAT QUESTION, more information would be helpful.

Domestic Violence cases in North Carolina can be a bit complicated. That's because there are aspects of such cases that touch more than one branch of the judicial system.

For example, it's not unusual to see Criminal charges such...
Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Personal Injury and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: Is It Possible To Sue Somebody For Domestic Abuse 3 Years After ?
Peter N. Munsing
Peter N. Munsing answered on Jan 3, 2018

you have 3 years from the date of the last injury. If it's within that time frame the other question is,if successful are you likely to be able to collect on that. Speak with the attorney who handled your divorce for starters. If not married, consult a member of the NC Assn for Justice--they give... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: Changing Public Defenders?

If a court appointed public defender seems uninterested, unwilling, and thinks you will still go to jail for stupid reasons that involve 100% no abuse, violence, threats, etc. in a "domestic case" that involves only yelling between the two parties, can the PD be replaced? Before the court hearing,... Read more »

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Dec 28, 2017

First lets get the terminology right, you are a defendant not a 'defender'. There are no guarantees. You could hire the most awesome successful criminal defense attorney ever and still end up going to jail. So your options are to continue on with the public defender assigned to you or to try and... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law, Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: What Is a Trial Like for...?

I was at a hearing for a guy who broke a protection order by sending too many emails, just being an idiot. Not an abuser. He was arrested for it. His hearing was to face 4 months in jail (that affects the child support she will lose if he loses his job). He is not an abuser, they just had yelling... Read more »

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Dec 19, 2017

He has already been determined to be an abuser thats why there is a protective order - Then he apparently went and violated that protective order, Now there will likely be a trial to determine not if he is an abuser (that's already been determined) but rather whether he violated the protective... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: I press charges against someone f I don't go to court will I get a failure to appear if I'm the one who press the charge
Kristen Dewar
Kristen Dewar answered on Dec 16, 2017

No, you won't get a failure to appear as the prosecuting witness. If the defendant doesn't appear, he or she would be subject to a Failure to Appear/Order for Arrest.

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law, Child Custody, Domestic Violence and Landlord - Tenant for North Carolina on
Q: Boyfriend chocked me twice and I'm pregnant we have a baby together already and lease is in my name I have no job

Lease is in my name and I'm not working to stay home with the baby, I want to get out of the situation but for him to only have contact for our children. I don't want him to serve jail time because of our children

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Dec 14, 2017

You didn't ask a question but I assume to wnat options - if so, it is likely your options are:

1) to take out a DVPO and effectively put him out and figure out a way to pay your expenses or

2) you move out and figure out a way to pay your expenses and deal with any lease issues if...
Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: I have been charged with a simple assault, domestic violence charge. 1st offense. Can a public defender help dismiss it?

This case was is NC. I am from NJ and plan to attend court 12/20. My boyfriend is going to come and request the case to be dismissed as well. Can a public defender help me get these charges dismissed as this is my 1st offense and arrest in my life? Or do I really need a private lawyer? I do not... Read more »

Kristen Dewar
Kristen Dewar answered on Dec 10, 2017

Generally, District Attorney's Offices are reluctant to outright dismiss domestic violence charges. A public defender, court-appointed counsel, or a private defense attorney all would have the same chance of having the charges dismissed. It is also not up to your boyfriend if the DA's office will... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: Mother-in-law calls police because Son-in-law attacks her daughter does she have to go to court too?

Son-in-law was physically and verbally abusive.

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Dec 6, 2017

Not unless she is subpoenaed and even if subpoenaed she still doesn't "have to go" but there will likely be negative consequences if she ignores a subpoena.

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law, Criminal Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: Is it legal to fight step-father if I see him?

Hi! My step-father, just recently, abused my mother, broke one of our puppies legs and stole the car and drove off without a license. That's a lot of different offenses. I'm scared that he'll come back, and I don't know what I'll do if I see him on our property again. Probably something I'll... Read more »

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Nov 30, 2017

Of course it's not legal. You are allowed to use reasonable physical force to defend yourself and others and deadly force if you are in reasonable fear of imminent death or serious bodily injury or in the defense of another under those circumstances. Call law enforcement and let them deal with... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Divorce, Child Custody, Child Support and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: I was served in NC with a DVPO that is full of false accusations. What can I do?

*I have added additional information to the bottom of this form *

This order was served after she began manipulation and gaslighting in order to make me jump through hoops to get time with my son ( we are separated) The order claims violence, threats and many other claims that are not true.... Read more »

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Nov 21, 2017

If you can not afford an attorney your options are to go to court, do the best you can and let the chips fall where they may. If you lose, you likely won't get to see your son. And yes, it is very possible you got played.

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Child Support, Domestic Violence and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: My daughter is with me 4 days a week and with her father for 3 days, not consecutive. Do I have rights to child support?

My daughters father and I were together for 6 years, our daughter is 3. The split was amicable, I got to keep the car (it is in his name) and he pays for her daycare($550 a month), but we also agreed upon him giving $100 a week to cover whatever extra expenses she may incur and I may not be able to... Read more »

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Jul 16, 2017

Unless the burn turned out to be purposeful, you likely should not only not be concerned about the extra hundred but start kicking in your share of day care.

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: My dad sometimes goes mad and he hits walls and screams. He leaves home. It is getting worse day by day. What can I do??

I have issue in my life. My dad sometimes goes mad and he hits walls and screams. Sometimes he gets really mad for small reasons such as my uncle waking up late. He yells and gets jealous of things easily. He accuses my mom of cheating on him. My mom and him had a arranged marriage. I think that he... Read more »

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Jul 11, 2017

These sound like personal and mental health issues. The only viable legal remedy for a situation like this is a restraining order and / or an involuntary commitment (if you meet the requirements) but that may do more harm than good. Your best bet is for you and you family to sit him down and... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Can I go to Jail or loose my Child?

I got a restraining order on my husband. He was suffering from a mental illness that I tried to help him with by involuntary commitment. He was homeless so I took him back for a little bit. I realized my error when his mental illness got worse and he started having delusions. After I got him out he... Read more »

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Jul 9, 2017

Your story doesn't quite add up - homeless sick people aren't ordered or should be expected to pay $50 a week in child support and people who legitimately need restraining orders don't let the offending person back into the house and involuntarily commited people who are as sick as you alledge... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Divorce, Domestic Violence and Small Claims for North Carolina on
Q: Can my spouse take me to court

over a cell phone she bought me then decided to ask for it back and charge me for it when she asked for a separation. Does it matter that she committed adultery? Do I have to pay her back for the gift of a phone?

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Jun 19, 2017

Yes, she can take you to court, If it was a gift, no you don't have to pay here back. The adultery is irrelevant to these issues. .

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law, Family Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: I was threatened verbally by my fiance. We have lived together for a year. He told me he hated me he picked up and said

And said I wish I could beat your head in. Said he should kick me out and let me prostitute! I totally depend on him. But this isn't right. What can I do without ending up homeless?

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on Jun 19, 2017

As a fiance, there's not much you can do but leave the situation.

1 Answer | Asked in Divorce, Family Law, Immigration Law and Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: Need a Lawyer, but Can Not Afford One

I have posted once this site, no response. Been weeks reading things online and I do not get all the fancy terms people us. I have a semi-complicated issue being a victim of domestic assault from my wife who came on a K1 (still has no SSN, green card, living status). She has a protection order... Read more »

Amanda Bowden Houser
Amanda Bowden Houser answered on May 19, 2017

If you are "dead broke" - who cares if she makes threats to make you "financially suffer"? What it sounds like you need to do is simply separate (not live together) and likely also have no or minimal contact. Do that for one year and you are eligible for divorce. Divorce is fairly cheap - $395... Read more »

1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence for North Carolina on
Q: Could I go to jail for a civil summons domestic violence order? I'm the defendant.

I have that order and a misdemeanor assault by pointing a gun warrant that I was served and released on a $5000 unsecured bond. I have court tomorrow for the civil summons order. Will I be locked up in jail again?

Brian Lehman
Brian Lehman answered on Mar 30, 2017

I don't think you've provided enough information for a lawyer to give an answer with confidence. But, a summons in a civil case does not impose criminal penalties. However, once the civil court enters an order in the civil case (e.g., a restraining order on not contacting a person), it can be a... Read more »

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