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North Carolina Child Custody Questions & Answers
2 Answers | Asked in Divorce, Child Support, Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: How can I get a divorce if my husband refuses due to child support concerns?

I have been married for 18 years and have been separated for over 2 years without legal separation. My husband refuses to give me a divorce because he doesn't want to pay child support for our 16-year-old, who lives with me full-time. He claims to have paperwork but hasn’t initiated... View More

Melissa Averett
Melissa Averett
answered on Jul 13, 2025

To be blunt, you need to come up with the money to pay an attorney a flat fee to divorce him. But if you want to get child support that's a separate issue. You can go to child support enforcement on Monday and pay them $25 and they will go after him for child support whether you're divorced or not.

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1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Can I travel to another state at 17 with only dad's permission?

I'm 17 years old, and my dad, who has primary custody of me, has given me permission to travel to another state by flight without him accompanying me. There are no specific custody arrangements or agreements mentioning travel restrictions, except that I can't travel out of the country.... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jul 11, 2025

If your dad has primary custody and the custody order doesn’t include restrictions about traveling out of state, then his permission is usually enough. Since there’s no mention of needing your mom’s approval for domestic travel and you're not leaving the country, it’s likely you’re... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Family Law and Child Custody for North Carolina on
Q: How can an incarcerated parent provide caregiving support for a disabled child?

I am seeking legal advice on how an incarcerated parent can provide caregiving support for a disabled child who requires full-time supervision. The non-incarcerated parent is currently responsible for the caregiving and needs additional support to manage the child's needs. Are there legal... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jul 10, 2025

This is a deeply challenging situation, and it's clear you're doing your best to care for your child under difficult circumstances. Even while incarcerated, a parent can still have legal rights and responsibilities related to their child, including participating in decision-making when... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Civil Litigation and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Can I stop my kids from staying at a sober living house?

I am concerned about my children's safety due to their mother, with whom I share a custody arrangement (3 days her, 4 days me), allowing our children, ages 8 and 12, to stay overnight at the sober living house where she works. This residence is located in the projects of a city in NC. I worry... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jul 10, 2025

Your concerns are valid, especially when it comes to your children’s safety and surroundings. While sober living homes often support recovery and can be positive places, they are not typically designed for young children to live or spend extended time in—particularly overnight. If the... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Child Support, Family Law and Civil Litigation for North Carolina on
Q: Can a mother pursue child support from a biological father if legal paternity hasn't been set aside?

A woman altered a DNA test result during her pregnancy to convince a man he was the father, leading him to sign an Affidavit of Parentage and form a strong bond with the child over four years. After their breakup, she ordered a court DNA test, revealing he wasn't the biological father, and... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jul 5, 2025

This situation raises serious legal and emotional complications. If the Affidavit of Parentage has not been legally set aside or rescinded, the man who signed it is still presumed to be the legal father under the law—even if a later DNA test shows he is not biologically related. Until a court... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Domestic Violence, Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Concern about ex-spouse's threats. Legal steps in NC?

I am concerned about my ex-spouse's behavior toward me and its impact on my daughter. She reposted a TikTok message suggesting harm toward me, stating her mom talks about wanting to harm or kill me. My ex-spouse has previously assaulted me but was let off after signing over custody. In this... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jul 6, 2025

Yes, you should report this to law enforcement immediately. In North Carolina, even indirect threats—such as social media reposts suggesting harm—can be taken seriously, especially when there's a documented history of prior violence. If your daughter’s post indicates that your ex is... View More

Q: Repercussions for unresponsive defendant in NC custody case.

If the defendant in a custody complaint does not respond within the 30 days allowed, what repercussions might they face? The complaint, filed in a specific court in Union County, seeks joint physical custody but sole legal custody. We are in contact as co-parents, and there is a mediation... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jul 6, 2025

If the defendant fails to respond to your custody complaint within the 30-day window under North Carolina law, the court can enter a default judgment against him. That means the judge may grant the relief you requested—such as sole legal custody—without his input. However, courts in custody... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Legal Malpractice, Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Can I take legal action against a lawyer for misrepresentation and excessive billing in a custody case?

I want to know if I can take legal action against my former lawyer for misrepresentation and excessive billing during my custody case. The lawyer did not admit important evidence, such as my GAL Report, which might have affected the outcome. Additionally, my case was prolonged unnecessarily over... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jun 25, 2025

You may have grounds to take legal action against your former lawyer if you can show that their actions—or lack of action—directly harmed the outcome of your custody case. Failing to submit critical evidence, like your GAL (Guardian ad Litem) report, may constitute legal malpractice if that... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Is an unsigned Consent Order for child custody valid under pressure?

I signed a Consent Order for Temporary Child Custody without a judge's signature. I felt pressured by my parents to sign, and I was not given time to seek legal representation. There have been no proceedings or filings with the court, and no other arrangements about visitation or support... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jun 11, 2025

If the Consent Order you signed has not been filed with the court and has no judge’s signature, then it is not legally enforceable as a court order. At best, it may be seen as a private agreement, but even then, its weight is limited—especially if you signed it under pressure and without legal... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Civil Litigation and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Assess ex-wife's case to change custody agreement in NC after move and social services involvement.

I am in Buncombe County, NC, and my ex-wife is taking me back to custody court to change our existing court-ordered custody agreement from 2019, which includes our 14-year-old daughter's school arrangements. My ex-wife moved to Madison County in 2020 but continued to honor the agreement. We... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jun 12, 2025

Your ex-wife will need to prove there has been a substantial change in circumstances that affects your daughter’s well-being in order to modify the current custody agreement. The court will focus on what is in the best interest of your daughter, not just the preferences of either parent. Her move... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Criminal Law, Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Is it illegal for a minor to carry a stun gun in NC, and what consequences could the parent face?

I am concerned about legal consequences related to my 14-year-old daughter carrying a concealed stun gun in North Carolina. She carries it everywhere, including during my custody visitations. I believe it's illegal for minors under 18 to possess or carry stun guns, and for a parent to give one... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jun 1, 2025

You're right to be concerned—North Carolina law does place restrictions on weapons, including stun guns, especially when it comes to minors. Under state law, it is generally illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to possess or carry a stun gun, even for self-defense purposes. Giving or... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: How to handle a joint custody issue with a 17-year-old in NC?

What can I do if my almost 17-year-old son, who is uncomfortable with our current joint custody arrangement, does not want to visit his dad for a while? He feels overly controlled when there and expressed his desire to take a break from switching between homes to his father. However, his father is... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Jun 7, 2025

At 17, your son's voice does carry more weight in North Carolina family court, though the custody agreement still legally stands until he turns 18 or the court modifies it. If he’s expressing discomfort and a strong desire to pause visitation, that’s worth serious attention. Judges often... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Custodial parent seeking legal intervention for son's online account access due to ex-wife's refusal.

I am the custodial parent with legal custody of my 12-year-old son. My ex-wife has visitation rights every other weekend. She has set up social media accounts and emails for my son without my knowledge and refuses to give me access, even instructing my son to deny me access, citing these as his... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on May 14, 2025

That situation sounds incredibly frustrating, especially when you're trying to do what’s right for your son’s safety. As the custodial parent with legal custody, you generally have the right to make decisions regarding his welfare, which includes his online activity and digital safety. The... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Civil Litigation and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Can I stop my daughter from being around ex's partner in NC?

I have temporary joint custody of my daughter. Recently, while she was at my ex's new partner's house, she was left unattended in the bathtub and cut her finger with a razor. The partner made a false claim against me and tried to sue. I asked my ex not to have our daughter at the... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on May 14, 2025

That situation sounds deeply upsetting, and you have every right to be concerned for your daughter's safety. When a child is injured due to negligence, especially while in the care of someone new in the other parent's life, it raises serious questions about judgment and the child’s... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Civil Litigation and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Father demanding paternity test, no legal acknowledgment, seeking no-contact order.

My daughter just had a baby, and the father has refused to have any contact for the past 7 months before the baby was born. Now, he and his mother have come to my door, demanding a paternity test. He is not on the birth certificate, and no legal actions regarding visitation have been initiated. The... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on May 15, 2025

This situation is incredibly stressful, especially with a newborn who has medical needs and a mother trying to protect her peace. Since the father is not listed on the birth certificate and hasn’t filed any legal action, he currently has no legal rights to the child. Your daughter has the right... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Civil Litigation and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: How can I challenge my dad's custody through legal action?

I am 14 years old, and recently, my mom lost custody of me due to my dad lying in court to gain full custody. Now, I can't communicate with my mom, whom I love and feel safe with. There have been no issues of abuse with either parent, but I don't feel comfortable living with my dad and... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Apr 16, 2025

You have a voice in your custody situation, even though you're 14, and the court is required to consider your wishes—especially when you express them clearly and consistently. In North Carolina, you can’t file a custody case yourself, but your mom or a legal guardian can file a motion to... View More

2 Answers | Asked in Child Custody, Social Security, Juvenile Law, Family Law and Public Benefits for North Carolina on
Q: Can I be forced to move in with my mom, given her mental health issues and my SSA benefits?

I am 15 years old and have been living with my stepmom since I was 13. I have lived with my biological mother off and on for the past 7 years, and she currently has custody. She is dealing with depression, bipolar disorder, and mania, and wants me to move back in with her to help her clean and for... View More

Donald  Pilzer
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answered on Apr 16, 2025

This is for the family court to determine. They will take your best interests into account, and appoint a gaurdian ad litem to represent your views to the court.

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1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Domestic Violence and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: How do I file for emergency custody in NC after a child's assault?

I have a custody agreement that allows my child to visit his dad every other weekend. During a visit, my child was sexually assaulted by his father's other minor son. I reported the incident to the police, and they advised me to file for emergency custody. I need to know how to file a motion... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Apr 13, 2025

I'm so sorry you and your child are going through this. In North Carolina, when a child’s safety is in immediate danger, you can file for **ex parte emergency custody**, which means the court can issue a temporary order without notifying the other parent first. The situation you’ve... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody and Family Law for North Carolina on
Q: Can a single mom represent herself in a child custody case without legal aid?

I am a single mom with no legal training and I can't afford to hire a lawyer. I'm trying to reach out to legal aid but haven't had success yet. Can I successfully represent myself in a child custody case, and are there any resources or support I might not be aware of that could help... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Apr 13, 2025

Yes, you can represent yourself in a child custody case, but it will require time and effort to understand the legal process. Many people handle custody cases on their own, known as "pro se" representation. While it’s possible to do this, it’s important to be prepared and... View More

1 Answer | Asked in Child Custody, Child Support, Family Law and Military Law for North Carolina on
Q: How can a father disestablish paternity in NC if previous tests conflicted?

I had a DNA test when I was 14 weeks pregnant, which confirmed him as the father. In 2023, he did another DNA test that indicated he is not the father, but he didn't inform me of this result until November 2024, after I served him with a child support order. We have a court-ordered DNA test... View More

James L. Arrasmith
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answered on Feb 19, 2025

In North Carolina, disestablishing paternity after previously acknowledging or establishing it can be quite challenging, particularly given your unique situation with conflicting DNA tests and an existing custody arrangement.

Your case presents several complex factors that could affect the...
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